Sunday, July 14, 2013

BINTM c9 episode 5: "The First Rule of Light Club Is..."

Previously on Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model, the girls were taken to castings. After Angel and Sarah were chosen by the designers to birth the Antichrist model their designs, the girls went to the beach for a steaming jeans shoot. Topless Naomi topped the shoot, while Sophie, Holly, and Abigail plundered. But it was ultimately Jessica who broke the hemlines, leaving 11 girls in the competition. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Lighten Up

After the elimination, the girls meet Elle and Nicki Johnston for a lesson on light and finding the right angles for the perfect shoot. Elle allows the girls to pose for five photos, and then struts in and fixes their faces. After Gepetto sets them up, the girls have five more frames to capitalize on this newfound light.

After a slew of “you’re awful” and “so boring”, Elle transforms Sophie into a grunge sensation and Laura’s inner model grows. 

Elle warns Abigail that while she may have lots of angles to choose from, posing straight-faced into the light amplifies her wrinkles to near Freddy Krueger-status.


Lightmare On Elm Street

But she still manages to retain a fresh face for Nicki’s final shot. “Can you feel the light?” Nicki sensually interrogates upon Emma’s entrance. Interpreting “light” to mean “sexual tension”, Emma moans a large‘yes’ and proceeds to pose. Sarah also impresses, finding her light quite effortlessly.

Naomi is fearful of her nose but Elle teaches her how to tame the rhino’s horn through the magic of lighting. And despite cries of “rhinoplasty” backstage, Naomi is confident in her nose; stating that it makes her look unique (plus the ability to crack large seeds…)

After the girls dine on some cashews courtesy of Naomi, Elle announces Sarah as the winner of this week’s challenge. She chooses Emma, Saffron, and Abigail to join her on a night out on the town.

While the other girls enjoy an emptier house, the winning quarto travels to a London pub. With the union of a “dancer from London” and a Yorkshire girl (the biggest rivalry since Lindsay Lohan and sobriety), the girls have trouble relaxing. By the end of the night, the girls were as happy as the Westboro Baptist Church at a taping of Queer As Folk.

As soon as they are released, Emma runs away from her archnemesis to read the

E-MAIL: “Remember to always find your light. Now take a deep breath. Love, Elle.”

Before going to bed for their 11:00 A.M. photoshoot, the girls start to gab about other things in the house. Angel doesn’t like the whispering behind people’s backs and despite Laura trying to explain the dynamics of the house; Angel exclaims that she “doesn’t like fakeness”. As Heidi Montag’s biggest fan, Naomi takes immediate offense to the statement. After a squabble, the girls head off to bed in order to prevent further feeding of Angel’s “attention seeking ways”.

Easy As ABSea

The next day, the girls are met by Tyson Beckford and Lauren Maddox, a representative for Top Tea. She explains that she wants the models to, like teabags, be dumped into water for this shoot. A pre-pubescent Call of Duty player at heart, Tyson is ecstatic about hot women and teabagging…

As Naomi prepares for her shoot, the girls discover that they will be able to watch all of the performances from another room. Even though Naomi gracefully swam, Sarah the hydrophobe grows more anxious. While Emma struggled to make dynamic shapes, Emily is able to use her army training to control both her face and body; looking like a beautiful mermaid in the water.


The Few, The Proud, The Aquamarines

Saffron, after hearing the words every man craves (“go deeper”), impresses Tyson with her dedication to the shoot. Holly, despite Angel’s “self-inflicted drama” backstage, delivered on set with elegant curves and movements. On the other side of things, the client agreed that Angel’s time on set was a travestea. 

Sophie was described as a “pixie”, and her ability to become attune with the water gave her great frames. Likewise, Lauren was able to have great elegance in the pool.

As a dancer, Abigail had a great control of her body; but Tyson felt that she didn't have enough variety. In addition to having to remove her glasses before the shoot, a bloated Laura felt insecure about getting in the water. Luckily, her portrayal of a sea critter works wonders as a Top Tea advert.


Iced (Mana)tea

However, Tyson was less than impressed, stating that she might be in the bottom four for her weak performance. As much as she didn’t want to do the shoot, Sarah convinced herself that she couldn’t give up. With Tyson’s assurance that “everybody is here for you”, Sarah was able to finish the shoot, but she’s terrified that the final product won’t be up to par.

Panel

Tyson states that Naomi was “easy” to shoot, and the others agree that her photo is strong. Dannii is unsatisfied with Emma’s expression and Tyson agrees; stating that it was a fight to capture a good shot. Elle is amazed at Lauren’s ability to remain calm underwater, but feels that it’s not her personal favorite.

With Sophie, all three judges agree that she’s like an angel in photos. Speaking of, Angel gets mixed reviews. Elle wants to give her the best photo while the other two call it the worst. Tyson said that Laura failed to control her eyes, letting fear control her on set.

Dannii wants Emily to soften up, even though the other two are impressed with her pointed toes. Likewise, Saffron was also praised by the judges for her constant control. Even though Tyson deems her the worst, Elle calls Abigail “simple and clean”. Finally, Holly and Sarah are lauded for their ability to command presence despite their worries.

“Of the eleven of you, only seven of you are safe. The other four will remain in the room, where we will have a closer look at your work. Afterwards, one of you will leave. The girl who received picture of the week is…”















BOTTOM FOUR




Tyson warns Emma not to led negativity get to her head, and Dannii encourages her to harness fear into positive energy. While Elle finds Abigail's image to be "high fashion", the other two feel that she's been trying very hard to adapt.

Elle thinks that Laura needs a lot of work to photograph well, and Tyson agrees that she needs to bring life during shoots to really pop out. Dannii wants Angel to be relaxed because her anger fails her. Elle tells her that she likes her photo, but being focused can elevate her.

“Four of you stand before me and the portfolio in my hands belongs to the girl who is not still in the running toward becoming Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model. Having said that…”"

Angel, Emma, you are safe.

“Now, the girl who I call is no longer in the running toward becoming Britain & Ireland's Next Top Model. That girl is…”

Abigail


Abigail is grateful for the experience and the friends she has made along the way.

Next week, the girls take on a challenge with strange accessories. Then, they bare it all in a nude shoot with curves in all the right places. So, until next week...


Baby Got Back

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