ANTM cycle 21 Finale: "Winner's Tale"

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the models took on a Korean soap opera. Keith acted up, and won the drama challenge. During their Elvis/Marilyn Monroe photoshoot, Adam hit the right note and received best picture. Even though the judges usually prefer (half)-blondes, Shei was eliminated for her lack of versatility. Now, only four models remain. Who will become America’s Next Top Model?

Will Manaconda slither his way to the top? Does Adam the Alcoholic have a shot at winning? Can Will strap on the (six inch) heels of victory? Or will Lenox be the last woman standing? 

The models return to the House to see Adam’s first best-photo being displayed. He is confident and happy that this experience has helped him stop drinking. While Adam celebrates, Keith reflects about his life. “It’s full of highs and lows, peaks and valleys.” At this point, I’m not sure if he’s referring to his career or hairline…

Likewise, Will is pondering his time in the competition. He’s thankful that this journey has helped boost his self-esteem. After thirteen weeks of scrutiny, he now believes that he is a good person (I guess in comparison to Yu Tscream and the Wicked Witch of the West Side…)

It seems that Tyra has gone full Wizard of Oz and begins to show off how she’s transformed everyone’s lives. Will needed confidence, and Tyra gave him six-inch heels. Adam needed an intervention, and Tyra gave him a three-bottles-a-day limit. Keith needed a place to let his manaconda prey, and Tyra gave him her garden. Lenox needed to lose her virginity, and Tyra made fun of her endlessly...er, wait a minute...

I Think I’ll Diss You Most of All

Nevertheless, the models come together and agree that this will be a “pretty good finale”. Between Keith and Lenox, this will be one of the strongest final four(heads) in a while...

Since Tyra can never resist the call of her brethren, she enters the House and greets Keith. She greets them with a live Tyra Mail: “Eye See Your Beauty.” The models exchange confused glances, and so do I. Aren’t your eyes that thing you smile with? This show has muddled my brain too far beyond comprehension. Smize before Smarts, ya’ll!

Anyway, Tyra announces that she has created a cosmetics line. Thanks to her Harvard degree, she has learned how to Photoshop her name onto certificates become a business woman. She wants the models to help her advertise her eponymous brand, Tyra. While there will be some collaboration between the models and her, Tyra insists that she will be the main focus of the Tyra commercials. The advertisements will consist of the models chanting “Tyra” while listening to her new song, “Tyra” in the background…

I swear, if Tyra and Marc Jacobs had a child, its ego would be massive. To match the forehead of course…

Now that Tyra has given the final four their mission, she elects to widen her circle jerk. She brings in the eliminated models so that Adam, Keith, Lenox, and Will can receive assistance for these “beautitainment” commercials.

Since this makeup is geared toward women, Will, Keith, and Adam will be sharing the spotlight in order to fully deliver the product. Why can’t Tyra make male-oriented brands as well? The only way to judge the last four models fairly is to create a collection of beard-weaves. Faced with Faux Fur by Tyra (made with diabetic cheetah skin of course...) 

After they travel to a Korean mall, Keith decides to work with Mirjana and Shei. Lenox is grouped with Matthew and Ben. Will chooses his besties Raelia and Ivy. This leaves Adam with Kari, Denzel, and Chantelle. 

Every group of models is given a product to advertise. Tyra ushers them to work quickly and finish before the mall opens to the public at 7 AM. (God forbid we see ‘non-models’. They might pour beer on Tyra’s weave!)

Before they are rushed to hair and makeup, Tyra has one more surprise guest for these commercials. Since her eyes are her best feature, Tyra has invited cycle 12 and All-Star runner-up Allison Harvard to make cameos in the adverts. 

Will is the first one to shoot his commercial for “Sculpt In A Stick and Light In A Stick” (really rolls off the tongue, eh?) He is excited about the shoot until he finds out he must be shirtless to showcase the contouring makeup. Will is self-conscious about not being as toned as the other guys, and drawing heavy black lines on his chest is going to help. Nevertheless, he showcases the dollar-store charcoal and gets praise from Tyra.

Adam collaborates with Chantelle and Kari to sell “Oops Liner”. Adam collaborates with Chantelle and Kari to sell "Oops Liner". Oops, I did it again! Luckily, Tyra has created “Oops Liner”: an infusion of eyeliner and makeup corrector in the same brush to fix these kinds of errors. Chantelle boasts that with “Oops Liner,” you no longer have to worry about any blatant, glaring mistakes.

Forget all the insults I’ve hurled. If it can fix the ultimate blunder of having Adam in the final four, Tyra’s products must be extraordinary!

After’s Adam’s erasure, it is time for Keith to hit the set. Mirjana and Shei tag along to showcase “Lip Model”. While I’d prefer the hilarity of a hand model, their “Lip model” advertisment is still plenty bizarre. Keith slathers the girls’ lips with fifty shades of awful puns. Mirjana, however, is thankful for Tyra’s lipstick. Now she and Denzel can share a makeup bag, complete with His and Hers “Hater Blocker” foundation. Thanks Tyra!

Lenox is also not going to let her “What It Takes” lip balm go to waste. She slaps it on before bringing Ben and Matthew to advertise “Smack My Fat Lash”. She is apprehensive to the thought of being sexy with her full thick lashes, but is encouraged by Tyra. Once Ben and Matthew engage with one another (#nolabels), Lenox is able to fully immerse herself into the commercial. Tyra applauds her ability to transform behind the camera and calls her ‘fierce’.

After the commercial shoot, all twelve models (and Chantelle) enjoy one another’s company in a Korean barbeque. Before they can call it a night, Tyra gives them another challenge. 

The next day, the models are taken to the judging set where they are met by Yu Tsai. He surprises them by saying he will be shooting their final photoshoot for Guess.“I shot your first photos,” Yu reminds them, “And now I’m shooting your last.” Lenox hasn’t even had her first, so her last must be very frightening. 

Still, the final four are eager to impress Guess and have this photograph become a national advertisement. Keith is skeptical, citing that his relationship with Yu is “hot and cold”. If we’re really describing Yu Tsai with Katy Perry songs, there are some much better alternatives:

This Is How We Yu

Roar
I Killed A Girl (And I Liked It)

With not a lot of time left, Keith is desperate to prove that he is not a one-hit wonder. After some coaching from Yu Tsai, he manages to get some great shots. In the same way, Will hits strong, masculine poses. Yu believes that Will can encapsulate the Guess brand nicely.

When Lenox gets on set, she is eager to prove her growth. She gets a confidence in being sexy and hits seductive poses; much to Yu Tsai’s approval. Tsai is most proud of Adam. He was doubtful at first, but by the end, Adam has improved so much and is the best suited model to represent the Guess brand. After the four finish their shoot, they decide to goof off in a final group shoot. In the middle of the festivities, Tyra appears.

“I was secretly monitoring this Guess shoot,” she announces. “I have already picked out your best pictures, and tonight, one of you will be eliminated.”

With that, Miss Jay and Kelly arise from the back of the room. Alongside Yu Tsai, they will be the sole judges figuring out who the final three models walking in the Lie Sangbong fashion show.

Tyra thinks that Will’s black and white shot is “sexy”. Kelly believes that his power lies in the color photo. Miss Jay wants more strength in his color photo, and Yu Tsai thinks his black and white is his best picture.

Kelly think that Lenox is “too hoochie” in the color photograph. Miss Jay feels that there’s a subtle sexiness in both pictures, and Tyra loves the control in Lenox’s black and white shot.

Yu Tsai thinks that Adam has power in his black and white picture. Tyra loves his color photo and calls him the “perfect Guess model”. Kelly appreciates that Adam has taken their criticism and adapted his modelling throughout the season.

While Keith has a sexy black and white photo, Kelly disagrees with the other judges about his color picture. Miss Jay calls it “soft”, but Kelly wants more “diversity” in his face. 

“Now, the judges and I will give you scores. There is no challenge or fan vote, so after this deliberation, only three of you will walk in the Lie Sangbong fashion show.”

“Four beautiful models stand before me. But I only have three photographs in my hands. And these photographs represent the three finalists of America’s Next Top Model cycle 21. The model who performed the best in this Guess shot and the commercial for my makeup line is…”

ADAM (38)

“The second finalist is…” WILL (35)

“Will Keith and Lenox please step forward? I only have one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the finalist who will walk against Will and Adam in the Lie Sangbong fashion show. With a score of 34 to 31, that model is…”

KEITH

Lenox is not the only one disappointed in her elimination. Tyra is surprised that “for the first time in Top Model history, there are three boys in the finale.” Unless the first nineteen cycles were a weird She’s The Man situation, it’s not this massive deal, Tyra. I know you’ve been thirsting for a male to win, but let’s not make it sound like you’ve been wriggling through the desert for the last decade.

Still, it is an achievement. We’ve whittled down the cast of fourteen model hopefuls to the best three guys. And now, may the best man win!

Bestosterone

Adam is proud of making it to the final three, snatching best photo twice during the process. He is thankful that Tyra has helped him curb his drinking and believes that giving up grad school was worth it for the experience.

Will has a similar sentiment. He was reserved before this experience, he “didn’t let [people] in,” he “didn’t let [people] see.” He tried to be the straight boy they wanted him to be, but now, he’s gained confidence in his identity. 

Keith is glad to have made it into the finals. He calls up his mother on the Line App and talks about how he wants the $100,000 grand prize to help move his family out of the projects. With so much riding on this competition, and Keith wants to do is get to the finish line. He has defied so many odds to get here: getting a college degree, playing professional sports, having a conversation on the Line App that isn’t laggy…

With all of the tension building, the guys travel to the Some Sevit islands atop the Han River. Kelly Cutrone introduces them to the Lie Sangbong fashion show, where they will take three turns in her avant-garde designs. Backstage, Tyra gives the models some last-minute encouragement. After she looks at the guys practice moments before the runway, she is worried. That hair must be some sort of veil to shield her from the terrible modelling to come.

Tyra Bangs

Her forehead may get to escape this cycle, but we don’t have that luxury.

In order to excite the models even more, Jourdan Miller (the cycle 20 winner) will be opening the show. She has a quick kumbaya with the final three guys before they hit the runway. Adam admits that he’s given up grad school for this competition. Keith has given up football to chase his dreams. Will has given up teaching dance to pursue this industry. Jourdan, having given up her marriage, empathizes with all of the sacrifices these models have made.

With all of the backstage jitters dying down, Tyra introduces the fashion show. To appease the Korean crowd, the K-Pop band “2NE1” performs one of their songs to welcome the models. I don’t know what the song was about, but Adam was really enjoying it backstage. He claimed it got him into the mood: must be about crushing beer cans!

One by one, the guys walk down the runway. Adam has a consistency in his walk. He showcases the clothes and has worked on his posture. He is a lot less rigid in his walk than it was in the first weeks.

When Will hit the catwalk, it felt like he was holding back. His presence felt reserved, and with the personality he has, there should be more of a commanding energy. Keith, on the other hand, had constant energy and smized from beginning to end. All in all, it was a tight final runway and all of the models looked great and fresh. 

Forever 21

With that, we will move onto the final deliberation.

Panel

Tyra thinks that Adam has a connection with the girls and is comfortable selling her products. Miss Jay thinks that he had a bumpy start, citing his water photo as “complete frat boy”. By the time he reached the HIV awareness campaign, Kelly points out, Adam started to listen to the judge’s critics. Yu Tsai notes that his best pictures arose from the Elvis and Guess photoshoots. 

Tyra was entranced by Keith’s swagger in the commercial. Kelly thinks that Keith “started off strong”, having gotten a best picture the first week. Miss Jay agrees, calling his HIV awareness campaign a “testament to his energy”. The Elvis and Guess shots are deemed “iconic” by Yu Tsai, even though he does note that Keith struggled on set.

When viewing Will’s commercial, Tyra feels a “special energy”. Miss Jay likes the control that Will possessed in the beginning of the competition. Kelly mentions how his confidence fell by the time the HIV awareness campaign week rolled around. Yu Tsai defends him, stating that he got that self-esteem back toward the Guess photoshoot.

“Now, the judges and I will give you three a score for your entire body of work. These four judges scores, plus the fan vote, plus the average challenge score, will determine who will become America’s Next Top Model.”

“Three beautiful men stand before me. We have seen you three go through this journey, but only one of you can become America’s Next Top Model. One of you had the lowest score. The name I call will not be America’s Next Top Model. That model is…”

ALLISON

Oh whoops, sorry. ‘Allison Harvard’ and ‘runner-up’ are just words that usually go together. 

ADAM (45.16)

Before parting, Adam thanks the judges for the experience.

“Now, only two models remain. Keith and Will. One of you will become America’s Next Top Model. You two are so different. Black and white, tall and short, gay and straight. The two of you represent two different types of modelling in this industry. But the both of you stand before me as great models. So, will be win? Who will be become. America’s. Next. Top. Model? That model is...one of the two of you standing here before me. You've been through a lot in this competition, but it all ends here. so, America's. Next. Top. Model. is...going to receive a bounty of prizes. A one-year contract with NEXT Model Management, a spread in Nylon Magazine, and a $100,000 spree with Guess. That model, America’s. Next. Top. Model. is...going to join the ranks of Top Models before them. All women, the former twenty winners of this competition. But tonight, a male will be in their midst. The winner of America's. Next. Top. Model. is...the model who has won cycle 21 of America's. Next. Top. Model. is...*commercial break*

“Without any more excuses, America’s. Next. Top. Model. is…the model that has a score of 51.7 to 49.2. So, America’s. Next. Top. Model. is...”

KEITH

Keith is America’s Next Top Model. Tyra is elated to crown the first male winner of Top Model, and she is very excited for the rest of his career. “You are going to have a long success,” she salivates. “Girls are gonna want to be with you.” 

“Yes!” Keith responds, oblivious to the jealously in Tyra’s smize. Nevertheless, he is beyond exhilarated. He hugs Kelly, Miss Jay, and, even Yu Tsai. They are all happy about his win, but nobody is as thrilled as Tyra. She decides to shoot one final shoot with Keith and with that, this Tyra Banks fanfiction has concluded. So, until next cycle when she finds a new batch of prey, Tyra will be settling down for a year of Keith.

Ty The Knot

ANTM c19 finale: Now Is The Winner of Our Discontent

Previously on this cycle of America’s Next Top Model, thirteen co-eds were chosen to move into the Top Model Sorority House. After an array of challenges and photoshoot, ten burnouts were expelled and now, only three scholars remain. Who will win? Will it be Laura, Leila, or Kiara? Find out right now on the America’s Next Top Model College Edition finale!

Tyra welcomes us to a fashion show that will “embody the beauty of Jamaica.” It will be set in the Rose Hall of Montego Bay; a house haunted by the ghosts of illiterate Top Model fans.

Paranormal ActiviTy(ra)

The only way to put these dyslexic souls to rest is to complete some unfinished business: crowning a winner. The three finalists will walk twice down the runway for Amado Haute Couture.

Backstage, we see that the eliminated girls will be joining the finalists as sacrifices for the ghosts. Serving as the main dish, we also have ANTM c18 winner, Sophie Sumner.

While the girls prepare for this hauntingly beautiful fashion show, Tyra ushers some footage from the finalist’s Nine West advertisement shoot.

West Shoe Story

Johnny introduces the girls to Jez Smith, the same photographer from the Dream Come True advertisements. Joining the two, there was newly-appointed Nine West client, Kelly Cutrone. In totally unrelated news, all former Nine West cliental were found murdered today in their homes with the words“PR MAVEN” graven into their chests.

Laura came with a “lack of confidence” to the shoot. After five minutes of shuffling her awkward feet, Jez and Kelly start arguing (most likely about the permanent retina damage her terrible modeling is causing him).

Johnny Wujek, the Beta Gay, looks on as Jez passionately pleads for a reprieve from Laura. When Kelly denies him a break, Alpha gets angry and threatens to sue Laura for emotional distress.

Nevertheless, Kelly brings Jez back to the photoshoot, much to his discontent. Johnny, however, is thrilled because as far as he’s concerned; angry Australian sex is his favorite.

Down (Pl)under

After those two hump like feisty kangaroos, Leila takes the stage. She failed to “connect” to the product and Kelly was convinced that she was not selling it “head to toe”.

Kiara also had trouble on set. She wasn’t giving “energy” in her eyes and struggled to find a body positioning where she could show off the shoes.

Too overcome with passion for his Aussie, Johnny concludes the shoot and leads the girls away to a shoot for Nylon Magazine. Jimmy Fontaine loves Laura’s “body” in her photos but calls her “commercial”; the kiss of death for this edgy magazine.

While Kiara isn’t the best on set, she is hopeful and reiterates that this experience will be the “best thing to happen to her family”.

Leila, aware of the “imperfect” look the client is going for, tries to show how grungy and “nylon” she is by listing off flaws: she has a crooked mouth, she has a gap in her teeth…

And she has crabs.

After the Nylon shoot, the girls prepare for their “spooky” final Amado Haute Couture show. Backstage, we hear the girls’ reasons for inspiration again: Leila wants to make her family proud, Laura needs to move out of her parent’s shadow, and Kiara is working for her grandmother and siblings.

Then, to raise the camp level of this show tenfold, Tyra creates a story of a ghost who apparently has sex with Rob Evans and, in a fit of jealous rage, murders the three finalists. Now, the only way to pacify her soul is to walk in terrible outfits and look sexy dressed in an Amish nun habit; but also looking scary…

Is Tyra possessed? No mere mortal could come up with such a hauntingly sexual story. Hopefully someone calls a priest because this show sure needs a…

Sexorcism

But if we forget about the interspecies breeding going on here, we see that the girls’ walks aren’t exactly on par. According to the five dollars he paid her, Tyra promotes Justin Bieber by calling Kiara both “somebody to love” and “swagy”…

Even though she had the “toughest” outfit, the judges note Laura’s “confidence” on the catwalk. Leila, on the other hand, lacks any kind of strength in her walk. After her initial fall on the steps, Leila falls off the runway and into the crowd.

On their second go-around, Kiara and Laura prove that they’re “high fashion” and take control of both the audience and their difficult outfits. Leila also redeems herself, gaining a “presence” on the catwalk.

After that mess of a show, the girls proceed to the final judging:

PANEL

"You know our prizes. The winner of America’s Next Top Model will receive a fashion feature in Nylon Magazine, become the face of the fragrance Dream Come True, be offered a contract with NY/LA Models, shoot an advertisement for Smashbox, and receive $100,000.”

"You all know our judges. First, we have PR maven, Kelly Cutrone. Next, we have sexy British male model, Rob Evans. We also have our social media correspondent, Bryanboy."

For this final tier of the competition, the winner of America’s Next Top Model will be crowned using the average social media score, average challenge score, and the judge’s score of the girl’s overall portfolio.



Laura: Rob calls her runway “awkward” and Kelly agrees, not feeling convinced that she can walk with strength. Tyra thinks she’s more “commercial” and thus, is pleasantly surprised by her Nine West ad. Rob notes the “shoey tooching” and Tyra, feeling the need to make ‘tooch’ a thing, agrees with him.



Kiara: Rob calls her a “pleasure on the runway” and Kelly deems her the “best walker by far”. Tyra loves her “agility” but is less than impressed with her “pea head” in the Nine West ad. She’s “disappointed” and so are the fans.



Leila: Tyra comments that her “head” got the best of her during the show. Kelly would be hesitant of casting her as a runway girl but calls her Nine West ad “the best” of the three. Rob believes that Leila is the lovechild of high fashion and commercial.

“Now the judges and I will deliberate, consider your body of work, and add up our scores, the average social media scores, and the challenge scores, and when you return, I will announce who is America’s Next Top Model.”

“The judges and I have added up your scores and with a total of 35.2, America’s Next Top Model is not…”

LEILA

“So, only two girls remain. With a score of 41.2 to 36.6, the winner of America’s Next Top Model; the girl who will gain $3,000 to her scholarship bank, is…”



And it looks like the closest to ‘menopausal woman’ we have is…LAURA! Kiara awkwardly cries and gets ushered away to wet her weave elsewhere. With lies like “I’m so happy” and “I’m going to represent healthy women” echoing the room, Kelly and Rob look on as Tyra brings in Laura’s hysteric parents.

As she stifles their sobs, Tyra takes Laura’s parent’s signed contracts and with that, exchanges the title of America’s Next Top Model for the rights to their daughter’s womb. So, until Laura conceives offspring or fuels Tyra’s growing lesbian tendencies…


C (Section) You Later

What did you think of this cycle? Are you glad with Laura’s win? Who would have you crowned as the winner of America’s Next Top Model cycle 19? Are you excited about the cycle 20 co-ed edition of ANTM? Leave any and all comments below and until Tyra’s next menstrual cycle….