ANTM cycle 21 episode 7: "Disney's Brozen"

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the models took part in an unbeweaveable hair shoot. After flicking their follicles, they created an advert for Nick Cannon’s NCredibles headphones. Lenox hit the right note, while Keith’s performance feel on deaf ears. But it was Ben who sizzled out; leaving only ten models in the competition. Who will be eliminated tonight?

The models are greeted back home with Lenox’s shot adorning the wall. “I feel like a yo-yo,” she exclaims. “I’m just going up and down.” Speaking of going down, Mirjana and Denzel are still fornicating in their Love Shack. Mirjana feels like she’s “falling” for Denzel and he’s a little scared of how quickly their relationship is progressing.

The next day, the models are taken to “The CW Network” by Kelly Cutrone. After they arrive to the barren warehouse with a Post-It that says “The CW” on it, they meet with the showrunner of the network. 

First, she commands the models to pair up for a script reading. Not wanting to mix “business and pleasure,” Mirjana decides to read with Keith. Despite her choice, she angrily glares at Denzel and Shei while they announce their love for one another. 

12 Leers A Slave

She confesses that she feels jealous watching her man kiss another person. Don’t worry Mirjana! In three to five weeks, you’ll receive a nicely written letter from Denzel explaining the situation…

Matthew, lucky to have escaped the Bermuda Serbia Triangle, focuses on the challenge while Mirjana plots her Shei revenge. Being a “professional actor”, Matthew thinks this script reading should be right up his alley. 

When Lenox and Adam get behind the camera, the judges believe that Lenox has the “CW look.” Considering CW actors get paid seven dollars and a tube of pudding for filming these awful shows, I’d say that Lenox keep her integrity. 

Adam is the biggest surprise of the day. He feeds off of Lenox’s energy during the scene and comes across as very apt. What if Adam has only been acting like a douchey frat boy this entire time? What if he really isn’t an alcoholic? What if...what if the sex really laststhree minutes?! SOMEONE GET ADAM AN OSCAR, STAT!

Unfortunately, the Academy don’t have the same opinion. Denzel is deemed the best and given an “amazing prize.” He will receive a walk-on role on a scripted television series. On The CW… 
Preparing to make his debut as ‘beard-weaved citizen’, Denzel acts like this prize is worthwhile.

Back at the house, however, Mirjana gets a little envious about Shei’s chemistry with Denzel. Even when Shei states that she has no interest in Denzel, Mirjana fails to let it go:

Don’t Shei Over Spilled Milk

Denzel explains that he doesn’t usually go for women as young as Mirjana. He calls her immature and links it to dating a child. Now, I know the beard weave makes him seem older, but that doesn’t mean Denzel has to seduce young girls with it. Who’s your granddaddy? The signs were all there, how could we be so blind?

Luckily, Will doesn’t turn a blind eye to the conversation around the house. After his confrontation with Mirjana, Denzel retires upstairs to talk with Keith about the competition. “I want a dude to win.” Denzel pleads. “But I don’t want it to be Will. I mean, if you gonna be gay, be a man about it.”

Um, I don’t think you understand what gay means, Denzel. Being a man is the whole point…

Nevertheless, he continues his tirade. “I don’t want to go home and explain how a guy who wears leather-patent heels beat me in a modelling competition.” First of all, how does a modelling competition equate to masculinity anyway? I suppose explaining that he was beat by a waif girl who lost her virginity on a spiderweb in a modelling competition is better?

Denzel attempts to apologize to Will; but he refuses to admit that he’s wrong. Wanting to remedy the situation, Adam comforts Will and tells him a story about the frathouse. He regrets his treatment of gay men in the fraternity, but has turned over a new leaf after meeting Will.

After giving Denzel the cold shoulder, Mirjana and the others are woken up the next day for their photoshoot. Franco Lacosta is here once again with a “frost-bitten” theme. “Be ghostly but gorgeous,” Franco asks. “Be frozen but fierce. Be senile but seductive.”

Keith is first to shoot. He struggles with the icy face mask and can’t position his body in a comfortable position. His manaconda has gone into hibernation, because Keith is not performing at his full potential.

Cold Hearted Snake

Matthew also finds trouble keeping his cool on set. Sitting on his icy throne keeps him too stiff; and the look doesn’t translate well on camera. Shei has the same struggle: she doesn’t get movement during her shoot.

Lenox heats up when she gets on set. She fulfills the “frozen princess” brief, and Yu Tsai calls her the “dark horse” of the competition. Kari, on the other hand, shivers behind the camera. She gets the same critique as most of the models, not having full control of her body.

When Will arrives on set, he promises not to let Denzel’s words affect his performance. He stays strong throughout the shoot. Denzel, however, can’t do the same. Backstage, he swears that he’s alright with last night. He’s content that the drama is “behind him.” (As long as it’s being a man about it!)

When he gets behind the camera, he struggles with the cold. His beard weave isn’t enough to protect him from the freezing environment. A back hair perm? Some armpit extensions? Whatever the reason, I guess Denzel needs a full-fur makeover to really encapsulate the alpha male look.

During Raelia’s shoot, some of the other models decide to watch. She does relatively well, but Mirjana ironically critics her for having an open mouth too often. Likewise, Yu Tsai compares her to a dead fish on set. While Raelia did a good job, let’s not forget the original.

After the shoot, Mirjana and Raelia clash on the ride back to the house. Watching the two women duke it out reminds Denzel why he’s not into younger girls. “I’m a little old-fashion, so I don’t want to date Mirjana if I’m not thinking of marrying her.” 

Good call, Denzel. I wouldn’t want you to waste seven cows, an acre of barley, and anger the Klan all for a traditional marriage to Mirjana…

Panel

Before we begin, can I just make a point about Tyra’s outfits this cycle? She’s not even trying to cover up the fact that she wants to sleep with Keith. Her football jerseys must be 100% faux manaconda skin because, at this point, she’s a straight-up...

Dick Pig(skin)

Unfortunately for her, Keith is dedicated to Kari. But not for very much longer…

Tyra can sense that Will is uneasy. After probing him about the drama with Denzel, Tyra does something very out of character. She gives a relatable and empowering speech about how intolerance can never go far in this world. Tyra connects Denzel’s words to how African American were (and still are) treated in society. 

With that in mind, the judges begin to look at the photographs. Miss Jay thinks that the pose is “cool” and, along with Tyra, gives Will a 9. Kelly is not as impressed and lands on a 6.

Tyra thinks that Shei isn’t “quite there yet” and gives her a 6 along with Kelly. Miss Jay deems her shot an 8.

Kelly finds the connection between body and face “disturbing” and gives Matthew a 7. Tyra agrees, and Miss Jay pops an 8.

Miss Jay likes the eye contact and gives Denzel an 8. Kelly doesn’t see a model in this shot and gives him a 6. Tyra middles with a 7.

There is “not enough” in Kari’s pose for any of the judges. She gets two 6s and a 7.

Kelly hates Mirjana’s crab hand and gives her a 6. The others award her a 7 and 8.

Miss Jay mimics Keith’s pose and comments on his complete lifelessness. He gets two 7s and an 8.

Tyra and Kelly praise Lenox as a “queen of the ice” with 10s. Miss Jay settles with a 9.

Miss Jay loves the commitment and gives Raelia a 9. Kelly calls herdrunk and hands out a 7. Tyra says she has “no class” and bombs her with a 4.

The judges think Adam’s pose is “dynamic” and give him an assortment of 7, 8, and 9.

"Now the judges and I will add up these scores and see who will still be in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model."

"The model with the best score is..."

LENOX (45.2)

ADAM (37.4)

WILL (36.4)

DENZEL (36.3)

MATTHEW (35.1)

MIRJANA (33.2)

KEITH (32.6)

SHEI (32.5)

"Kari and Raelia, you two have the lowest scores. With a score of 31.4 to 30.8, the girl that will remain in this competition is..."

RAELIA

Even though she is disappointed that she can’t stay with Keith longer, Kari is eager to join the comeback.

Next week, the models will shoot with Kelly Cutrone and Tyra will get her DNA results. Then, they will shoot ‘love photos’ in trios; which basically means awkard three-tongued PDA. So, until next week…

Ménage à Blah