ANTM cycle 21 episode 2: "Life's A Beach"

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyra Banks started the search for a supermodel model decent looking individual. After inspecting their selfies, the batch narrowed down to twenty-two.

The models start to settle into the competition, eager about the next cut. Romeo and Raelia form a quick bond. I’m sure the twerking virgin will be eager to give away some hair if Romeo needs to brew a quick spell!

Matthew asserts that with female models, there’s “double the pressure.” It seems like his desire to hump has translated into his catwalk. When he’s not lurching like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Matthew has an alluring face and body to match.

Quasimodel

On the other side of the house, Adam and Ben have started a ‘bromance’. This basically ensures that the term ‘no homo brah’ will now punctuate every sentence.

My Way or the Subway

The next day, the models are brought to a train station where they meet up with Franco Lacosta. You may know him from cycle 20, your nightmares, or your local nail salon. He is back to judge the models on both their posing and personal style. He challenges them to “get dressed and get on the train.” All they’re missing is a cigarette and a baby on their lap before they become full-fledged New Yorkers!

Anyway, he states that they must dress up for the four seasons (all of which Danny has auditioned for). If they fail to get onto the train and get their pictures taken, they will be disqualified.

At the first summer detour, Matthew and Mirjana become quick friends. He is smitten by her personality and happy to be competing with her. Josh, on the other hand, is solely concentrated on the task at hand. He’s afraid that, being a “farmer from upstate,” this is his last chance to become a model.

When he gets on the train, Josh “thinks of home” after he strikes a pose. Unfortunately, his scarecrow look leaves Franco unimpressed. Josh needs to work on his posing before he’s told to click his heels and head back home.

I Think I’ll Diss You Most of All

Danny, on the other hand, captivates the photographer. Romeo is angry that the jerk is doing so well, only inflating his ego further. 

When he first meets Franco, Adam boasts that he looks “better than 95% of the general population.” Where is he getting these statistics? Are they the same that claim he’s in the “top 1 percentile of partiers”? Nevertheless, the numbers are not on Adam’s side when he misses the train by one minute.

Sitting in the empty subway, the other eliminated models contemplate their futures. “I’m scared that I might get eliminated because this challenge relates to modelling,” Ivy swears. How naive. Ivy strikes me like the shining optimist. She doesn’t see the glass as half-empty. Or that Adam slipped something into it…

While I don’t feel comfortable leaving any woman alone with Adam, Romeo is more concerned that Danny is one of the two models still on that train. He begins to root for his new friend Matthew by default.

After the two models duke it out, Franco announces that the competition was close. Matthew thinks he did well, citing the feeling like “losing my virginity.” DAMMIT! IT’S A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION FOR YOU NOW, MACBETH.

Nevertheless, Matthew gets the win. When Danny gets upset about his loss, Horatio calls him “too arrogant” for someone who was eliminated last cycle. “You’re like old fish, brother.”

“I’m not cocky,” Danny smirks as he smokes his cigar and coifs his hair.

The Codfather

“You come to me,” Danny spits as he strokes a cat, “on the day of my photoshoot and don’t even think to call me humble.” 

Mirjana, tired of the rivalry between Danny and Laertes, tells him that he is not ready to be on cycle 21 and quickly shuts down Danny and his whole syndicate. 

I Will Always Love Yu

The next day, the models are taken to a beach where they meet up with Kelly Cutrone. Due to budget cuts his brilliance on cycle 20, she introduces the new creative director Yu Tsai. 

Ivy is first to shoot. Even though Yu tells her that she is not a conventionally sexy girl, she has the blonde ambition to photograph well. She has that bombshell look that translates into class and a killer look.

James Blonde Girl

Other models don’t quite live up to her example. Shei proves to be quite shy in front of the camera, and Keith doesn’t serve much face. 

When Ben steps on set, Yu immediately pegs his look as the ultimate boy-next-door. Through his varying body shapes and facial expressions though, it turns out Big Ben has some international appeal.

Chantelle impresses Yu in front of the camera. He believes that her vitiligo tells a story and likens her to an X-Man. When the lights turn on, she poses like a Unique Mystique; on point throughout the whole shoot.

When Adam gets on set, he obnoxiously does some push-ups. After he finishes his reps with the kegs dumbbells, Adam gets on set. Within the first ten seconds, he “uses up all the moves” he has. (just like all his first dates!)

Yu encourages him to flex and “make love” to the camera. Adam growls at the lens and juts out his muscles. With such a small head, Adam’s beefed-up body reminds me of an disproportionate Dragon Ball Z villain.

His power level may be over 9000, but Adam only has one look in front of the camera. Likewise, Jamie Rae can’t seem to break through her shell on set. Yu is convinced she’s “dead inside,” and I have to agree. She just seems like cold hard plastic.

During the shoot, Kelly Cutrone decides to snoop backstage. She asks Matthew if he’s eyeing any girls. Like a mother (who's going through her goth mid-life crisis), she drags Mirjana over and tries to make some chemistry. Kelly would make a great cupid; I’m sure she would love the opportunity to shoot people.

After all of the individual photos, Yu brings the models together to lie in the sand for a group shot. As the models come together, Romeo raves that it’s “hot and sweaty and sexy”, something that he’s used to back home. I’m sure that this is always he takes pictures with his large family of witches.

Cheaper By The Coven

Judging with these photos, Tyra and co. decide which fourteen models will join the cast of cycle 21. She gathers all of the models atop a building to break the news. Crushing people’s dreams in a place where they can jump? Smart move, Ty.

The final cast of America’s Next Top Model is…

Chantelle
Will
Keith
Mirjana
Kari
Matthew
Lenox
Ben
Romeo
Ivy
Raelia
Shei
Adam
Denzel

Next week, Tyra promises that the models will become “living art” during a runway with...jizz? I’m sure Jackson Pollock is rolling over in his grave (new fashion show idea!) Anyway, I’ll see you next week when art imitates life.

No Homo

America's Next Top Model Cycle 21 2nd Episode: Leather Swim Wear on the Beach

Korea's Next Top Model Cycle 5 2nd Episode: Hydrant Gymnastics

Original Airdate : August 23, 2014

Photo Shoot : Hydrant Gymnastics

Bahng Tae Eun

Choi Jeong Jin

Chung Dong Kyu

Han Ji An
.

Han Seung Soo

Hwang Kibbeum

Hyeo Ji Eun

Jeong Yong Soo

Jung So Hyun

Kim Jong Hoon

Kim Min Jung

Kim Seung Hee

Kim Yae Lim

Lee Cheol Woo

Shin Jae Hyuk

First call out : Bahng Tae Eun

Call out order : Han Seung Soo, Hwang Kibbeum, Lee Cheol Woo, Choi Jeong Jin, Han Ji An, Kim Yae Lim, Shin Jae Hyuk, Kim Min Jung, Hyeon Ji Eun, Kim Jong Hoon, Chung Dong Kyu, Kim Seung Hee 

Bottom two : Jeong Yong Soo & Jung So Hyun

Eliminated : Jung So Hyun :(

Source: M for Model

America's Next Top Model Cycle 21 1st Episode: Poster Promote

ANTM cycle 21 premiere: "21 Hump Street"

Welcome to the 21st cycle of America’s Next Top Model! The show that has inevitably started many drinking games is now old enough to do it on its own. Tyra promises that this “fierce cycle full of tooching smizers” (that’s three and a half shot if you’re keeping track) will be the luckiest one yet. Considering that they still manage to get people to audition for this thing, I have to concur.

Another thing we can agree on (me agreeing with Tyra? It must be the beer goggles) is that there is “something missing” from this cycle. Tyra uses a scene with little children to announce her fear that she’s “looking for something”. A functioning uterus? Well, whatever this is will surely calm your spirits, Tyra…

During her search for an heir with great hair, Tyra has collected 34 models to compete in a runway show. Chantelle, a 19-year-old from Canada, is very eager to show the world that her vitiligo doesn’t mean she’s not beautiful. Her story is as beautiful as her, and I’m sure that she’s find this competition as easy as EhBC…

The Last Supper Club

As the models file into The Supper Club in Los Angeles, they grow more anxious to meet the other gender. Like the awkward chaperone at a middle-school dance, Cory Wade-Hindorff from cycle 20 separates the models with a wall. Despite their pleas for him to roll up the partition (please), Cory tells the separate models that they will be participating in a EDM fashion show. For all the old geezers like me, I looked this term up on an online encyclopedia and got the definition ‘Electronic Dance Music’. But then again, this site also says that a ‘surfboart’ is not a surfing tool, so I’m wary of its credentials. 

Nevertheless, Cory tells them that at the end of the catwalk, they will take a selfie and decorate it using the Line app(once again, that’s the Line app. wink) Finally, he explains that the models must create a hashtag to paint on their body while they walk. In order to demonstrate, Cory starts to teach the models how to walk as straight as a Line. The irony here is not lost on me.

The girls go backstage and start thinking of words. Raelia, whose thin body distracts the other girls, should be more interested in hashbrowns than hashtags. In the middle of the chaos, Cory enters with a one-sided mirror (bought at Ikea wink) where the guys can check out their competition.

-ATTENTION: For those participating in the Marvin Cortez special (taking a drink everytime a boy pops a boner), please skip this section. I, and the state of California, will not be held responsible for any injuries or death due to this drinking game.-

Knowing that they’re being watched, the girls show off their skills in the mirror. When it’s Kari’s turn at the all-knowing glass, the boys can hardly contain their excitement. 

Mirror Mirror On The Wall
Make Them Kari A Blue Ball

Feeling upstaged, the guys take a turn showing off. Not one to make small talk (or probably just not capable of forming a whole sentence), Adam screams at the mirror. The girls don’t react smoothly to the mating cry. Instead, they return to making their hashtags. Shei is excited to leave her go-go dancing to become a model, while Mirjana hopes to make Serbia proud.

Moments before the runway show begins, a shadowy figure descends from the ceiling. Tyra cascades down draped in black while screaming “tooch booch fierce smize”. The models look over their contracts for a moment before breaking out into obligational fanfare. What was supposed to be a grand diva entrance felt more like a demented retelling of the ending of Jack & the Giant Beanstalk.

While Tyra mumbles “fe fi fo fum’ in the corner, the true showstopper arrives. With a long cape, and legs to match, Miss Jay Alexander plummets the runway. With a greeting that is only described as “taking me to church”, Jay informs the models that he has returned to help judge this cycle.

The models walk on the runway in pairs. Most of them have trouble keeping in a straight line (thanks Marvin!) and fail to take good selfies. Confused as to why people aren’t showering the end of the runway with dollar bills like usual, Shei stumbles to the back of the runway. Only one model really steals the spotlight: Will.

Judging by his staggering height (6’6) and matching psychique, Will proves that everything’s bigger in Texass. I’m hoping that he can become the breakout star of this cycle; the Beyonce in this family of destiny’s neglected children.

Wills, Wills, Wills

After the fashion show, the models are given the unique opportunity of using the Line app to elevate their selfies to the next level (from awful to terrible!)

Later that day, Kelly Cutrone joins Miss Jay and Tyra to begins the judging rounds. Chantelle surprises the judges with her beautiful stature, and “corn fed” Ben hits on Tyra. Kelly, amaized that Ben would be so unprofessional, sends him out to think about his longevity as a model.

Danny, a Staten Island based model who auditioned for cycle 20, returns with an air of cockiness. His arrogance annoys Romeo, the 23 year old from California. His audition with the judges, however, was more well received.

When Adam goes before the judges, the 26 year old proudly states that he’s a “professional partier.” He is a “legend” in his fraternity, Pi Gamma Douche, and reassures us that he is still “very smart.” He can tell when it’s already raining! 

In addition to being a skilled weatherman, Adam promises that he can squeeze modelling into this tight schedule. So tight in fact, that he can only have sex for two minutes. I’m sure his left hand is very unimpressed. Nevertheless, the Minute Man continues to have a very healthy lifestyle, eating (out) three times a day. In addition, he brags that this entrepreneurship in math could land him on the cover of many publications. 

STIme Magazine

After the judges disinfect the studio, Lenox is allowed to audition. She connects with Tyra after doing some strange forehead bonding ritual. She then tells the judges that her father died two weeks ago. Tyra consoles her and allows her to use the competition as something to grow stronger with.

Will struts in with a pair of high heels. He tells Tyra that after teaching girls to achieve their dreams through dance, he wants to take this opportunity to do it himself. Tyra praises Abby Lee Willer for his selfie and confidence as an out gay model.

In the middle of the auditions, a girl named Jamie Rae appears. This “blonde bombshell” immediately threatens the other girls with her statuesque presence. 

When she auditions for the judges, Tyra immediately takes a liking to her. Linking her to a “real life Barbie doll”, Tyra calls her almost unreal. She is not impressed Jamie Rae and rebukes her until she takes off her makeup. Looks like someone’s jealous Ty-Ty. Don’t worry, she’s definitely not trying to steal your gig. Is she? 

Life-Size 3 Confirmed?

Nevertheless, Tyra is the boss here. And her request overwhelms all two of Jamie Rae’s brain cells. Still, she walks off and washes her face. Tyra and the judges react positively to the “real” girl behind the mask.

But not everyone’s true colors are being taken in stride. When Romeo pulls out a pack of tarot cards, Danny and Keith are frightened. Annoyed that his audition didn’t go to well, Denzel also freaks out at the unconventional kid.

But luckily, Romeo is the judge’s favorite Shakesqueer character. He saunters into the judging panel with an arm full of tattoos and a gothic flannel. If Kelly Cutrone could blow away the cobwebs out of her batcave, she would go gaga for Othello. In addition to being a gothic vampire, he is a bisexual man who practices Wicca. If his modelling career ever falls through, he can still secure a job on The CW’s new hit sitcom:

Biwitched

After Hamlet finishes his audition, the judges decide to cut the pool of models from 34 to 22. 

Get Lucky (Strike)

The models are greeted by Kelly Cutrone and Jay at the Lucky Strike bowling alley. One by one, the models will roll and get told if they are still in the competition or not. As the competition thins out, cheers and screams are let out. 

Personally, I have never seen Will this excited about a bear since the last time he went out clubbing.

With all the celebration aside, the twenty-two semi-finalists are told that their journey does not here. Next week will have more drama, another photoshoot, and only fourteen models will make it. Who will they be? Which product will Tyra shamelessly plug next? Stay tuned to find out!