Back in the house, Laura is ecstatic about her “perfect week”. She wanted to prove that she “deserves it” and so, decides to sleep alone in the Tyra Suite.
Allyssa wants to “earn her stay” at the Tyra Suite and is determined to receive best picture this week. She “has heart” and once she “finds her potential”, wants to be an example. She wants to be the first curvy woman to win Top Model. The first Brazilian to win Top Model.
The first lesbian to win Top Model. And with the help of her fans, maybe she can continue that dream.
Victoria, on the other hand, is just happy to still be here. After her “desperate” bottom two appearance, she is focused and ready to propel farther into the competition.
Kiara cooks a meal for the other girls in an attempt to show her “tough love parent” personality. Allyssa and her MILF quickly run down to indulge in chili but Victoria is too busy exercising.
The other girls start to worry about her “mental health” and Kristin fears that she’s “not stable enough” for this competition. But I’m pretty sure they’re just jealous of her toned chess. Seriously, with the vigorous way she works out, all of her excess fat is just…
Pawn with the Wind
But Victoria assures them that she’s ok.
The next day, Bryan(Pre-Pubescent)Boy greets the girls and introduces them to Marissa Montgomery, who is a correspondent for NylonTV. He announces that they will take a “road trip” to Palm Springs.
To further enhance the college experience, they will be shooting Random Acts of Modeling; which means fiercely hitchhiking and sexily smizing with men in exchange for gas money.
Marissa explains that there will be two teams, but only one girl will get to appear on NylonTV. Team 1 consists of Laura, Allyssa, Brittany, and Kristin; whereas Team 2 has Victoria, Kiara, and Nastasia.
Road Gyp
Team 2 starts off strong, getting to the first pit stop before the others. Kiara thinks that Victoria is like “a lost child” and feels the need to protect her during the challenge.
Back on the other team, Allyssa is “having fun” with the shoots. She’s excited to show off her curves and lets loose at the second pit stop.
Team 2, on the other hand, is too “overdressed” for this challenge. They stick out at the grungy restaurant and aren’t as effortless as the other girls. At the sight of chicken wings, Kiara got a little too excited; making it look like the candids of an overweight teen.
Insta(kilo)gram
After taking some more pictures that are sure to resurface on the blog of a food fetishist, Team 2 returns to the road. Meanwhile, Team 1 has the thought to stop at a windmill farm and take pictures. Good idea girls; because everyone looks fierce during a hurricane!
Allyssa is particularly scared because she doesn’t understand how she can commit random acts of modeling while “getting blown”. Honey, if Rob can do it, if Ken Mok can do it, then YOU can do it!
Laura, on the other hand, is doing a great job in the wind. She looks a little like Dorothy, if Dorothy decided to flash all of Kansas…
Wizard of Drawls
Butt despite the setbacks, Team 1 was able to get some good shots. After wrapping up at their final pit stop, Kiara realized that she was missing a video and decided to re-shoot.
After they arrived in Palm Springs, the girls are critiqued by Melissa. She was impressed by Nastasia and Kristin’s “Nylon looks” and appreciated Allyssa’s “energy”.
Despite Kiara having the “right mood”, Melissa announces that the winner is…
LAURA! Kiara is a little upset and has a “bitter taste in her mouth”. THIS IS WHY BLACK WOMEN DON’T EAT FRIED CHICKEN ON TELEVISION!!!
After the long day, Allyssa is discouraged but “won’t give up”. Jason Mraz loves the feisty ones.
The Hang-under
But there is no rest for the weary. Johnny Wujek interrupts the girls before they can shower because the shoot calls for a “grungy” look.
He describes that they will be placed in “uncomfortable situations” and need to seem “caught off guard”.
Brittany was able to take “direction well” and made interesting shapes. During her shoot, Victoria made an interesting backstory, but failed to penetrate it into her photos.
Kristin did well despite choking on copious amounts of white fluid. Seriously, the gallons of milk this girl was forced to swallow were ridiculous. Just imagining all of the cows the ANTM producers had to milk is...
Utter Madness
Kiara was worried about being in a dumpster, seeing as she used to find clothes in them. But seeing this situational juxtaposition made her confident and got her some great shots.
Nastasia was worried about “looking short” during the shot but let her inhibitions go, resulting in good shots. Laura, on the other hand, had some “bad fish”. But enough about her face. She struggled with getting good body positions and didn’t understand the concept.
Allyssa was “desperate” to get a good shot. She enthusiastically licked the floor, impressing both Johnny and the photographer. She continued to get “great shots” until a cockroach appeared. And so, being neither a fan of cocks or roaches, Allyssa decided to wrap up the shoot.
Once they return to their hotel, the girls receive a…
SKULL MAIL. “Tomorrow you will meet with the judges. Only 6 of you will continue on in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model.”
Victoria decides to phone home again, missing her mother even more. The other girls take it upon themselves to confront her on her erratic behavior.
Nastasia and Kiara question her eating habits and are genuinely worried for her health. Victoria assures them that she does not have an eating disorder and quenches their concerns. Really, the only sickness Victoria is suffering from is being stuck in a house full of women…
Manorexia
PANEL
"You all know our judges. First, we have PR maven, Kelly Cutrone. Next, we have sexy British male model, Rob Evans. We also have our social media correspondent, Bryanboy."
"You know our prizes. The winner of America’s Next Top Model will receive a fashion feature in Nylon Magazine, become the face of the fragrance Dream Come True, be offered a contract with NY/LA Models, shoot an advertisement for Smashbox, and receive $100,000.”
Brittany: Tyra loves the “purity” and the fans agree, calling it “high fashion”. She receives an 8 from Kelly, a 9 from Rob, and a 10 from Tyra.
Kiara: Kelly and Rob fall into her “vortex” and award her an 8/9. Tyra likes the elongation but wants more, so she settles on a 7. The fans are less impressed, deeming her “trashy”.
Laura: She has “no excuse” for having a lackluster picture, so Tyra gives her a 7. Rob and Kelly find it “weak” and give her 6’s.
Kristin: Kelly loves it and Rob finds it “edgy and versatile”. The trio gives her 8’s.
Nastasia: Kelly thinks that it’s “natural” and gives her a 9. Tyra and Rob love the “length” and give it banging 10’s.
Allyssa: Tyra loves the “commitment” and gifts her an 8. Kelly and Rob aren’t as happy, giving her a 4 and 5.
Victoria: Kelly loves the “out of it” mood and with Tyra, gives her an 8. Rob is impressed by the “grossness” and awards a stellar 9. After some goading by Bryanboy, Victoria’s housemates tell Tyra about their health concerns. Tyra announces that she wants women to be healthy and is determined to “keep an eye” on Victoria.
“Now the judges and I will add up your scores and when you return, I will announce who will be eliminated.”
“Eight beautiful ladies stand before me. But I only have seven photos in my hands. And these seven photos represent the eight girls that are still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model. The girl with the best score, and best picture, is…”
NASTASIA (42.2)
BRITTANY (39.2)
KRISTIN (38.1)
VICTORIA (36.7)
KIARA (35.9)
“Will Laura and Allyssa please step forward? I only have one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl who is still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model. With a score of 32.9 to 29.0, that girl is…”
LAURA
Seeing that the girl with the best ass is gone, Tyra starts to cry over all of the wasted tooching potential. Allyssa is still very confident going into the Comeback because she wants to represent all of the Brazilian and girls with curves. "You all know our judges. First, we have PR maven, Kelly Cutrone. Next, we have sexy British male model, Rob Evans. We also have our social media correspondent, Bryanboy."
"You know our prizes. The winner of America’s Next Top Model will receive a fashion feature in Nylon Magazine, become the face of the fragrance Dream Come True, be offered a contract with NY/LA Models, shoot an advertisement for Smashbox, and receive $100,000.”
Brittany: Tyra loves the “purity” and the fans agree, calling it “high fashion”. She receives an 8 from Kelly, a 9 from Rob, and a 10 from Tyra.
Kiara: Kelly and Rob fall into her “vortex” and award her an 8/9. Tyra likes the elongation but wants more, so she settles on a 7. The fans are less impressed, deeming her “trashy”.
Laura: She has “no excuse” for having a lackluster picture, so Tyra gives her a 7. Rob and Kelly find it “weak” and give her 6’s.
Kristin: Kelly loves it and Rob finds it “edgy and versatile”. The trio gives her 8’s.
Nastasia: Kelly thinks that it’s “natural” and gives her a 9. Tyra and Rob love the “length” and give it banging 10’s.
Allyssa: Tyra loves the “commitment” and gifts her an 8. Kelly and Rob aren’t as happy, giving her a 4 and 5.
Victoria: Kelly loves the “out of it” mood and with Tyra, gives her an 8. Rob is impressed by the “grossness” and awards a stellar 9. After some goading by Bryanboy, Victoria’s housemates tell Tyra about their health concerns. Tyra announces that she wants women to be healthy and is determined to “keep an eye” on Victoria.
“Now the judges and I will add up your scores and when you return, I will announce who will be eliminated.”
“Eight beautiful ladies stand before me. But I only have seven photos in my hands. And these seven photos represent the eight girls that are still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model. The girl with the best score, and best picture, is…”
NASTASIA (42.2)
BRITTANY (39.2)
KRISTIN (38.1)
VICTORIA (36.7)
KIARA (35.9)
“Will Laura and Allyssa please step forward? I only have one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl who is still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model. With a score of 32.9 to 29.0, that girl is…”
LAURA
Next week, the girls will take part in go-sees. Afterwards, Kristin and Victoria apparently get heated after an argument about Victoria’s habits (No one gets between me and my mom!). You don’t wanna miss it!
Who do you think should have gotten best picture? Who do you think should have been in the bottom two? Do you agree with the elimination? Who would have you eliminated? Who are your faves? What was your favorite part(s) of the recap? Anything else you wanna say? Leave any and all comments below and until next week...
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