Saturday, September 14, 2013

ANTM c20 episode 8: "Paint Me Like One Of Your Wench Girls"

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the models were farmed and loaded during a shoot for Emmerson. After the boys clowned around with Kanani, they took on a nail art shoot. Jourdan nailed it, while Kanani and Jourdan were removed from the competition. Now, only 8 models remain, who will be eliminated tonight?

The remaining models lament their fallen comrades during their limo ride back home.They go around the bonfire sharing their favorite memories of Kanani and Jeremy:

At the mention of Jeremy, Jourdan instinctively clutches her jacket and whispers “no”. 
“The…closest people to me ar-are gone!” Marvin cries. The other models nod their heads in agreement about these people they've known for 15 days.

To keep his mind off of his near ̶c̶r̶u̶c̶i̶f̶i̶x̶i̶o̶n̶ elimination, Phil decides to distract himself with ADHD-inspired antics. He attempts to enlist Jiana’s help, but she chooses not to focus on miracles. So, Phil grabs a tear-soaked Marvin and demonstrates the famous


Walking On Water

But not even biblical allusions can quench Marvin’s thirsty sadness. “I don’t have a-anyone to play with or have---talk to,” he sobs, realizing the wasted opportunity of not flirting with Kanani.

MyEveryTweed

The next day, the models are met by Kelly Cutrone in a reprieve from her usual black attire. In a slightly gray wardrobe, Kelly challenges the models to a fashion quiz for money. This cash will then be used to create an ensemble; and the model with the best look will claim victory to a $2000 MyEveryNeed gift certificate.

Desperate for a soul, Jourdan is pumped to collect her EveryNeed winnings. Marvin, however, wants to surprise his dad and claim a new mop as his EveryNeed splendor. 

With everyone hungry for the prize, Kelly starts the fashion quiz. Unfortunately, her intimidating presence and sub-par hosting skills makes this the blandest/scariest game show ever.


The Price Is Fright

Nevertheless, most of the models guess her multiple-choice questions correctly and pass her test(sounds like the public school system…)

The models run around the streets of L.A. with their limited budget and hunt down the deals. Phil, with only $25 to his name, attempts to haggle with the store owners to no avail. Must be atheists…

While Phil sulks in the street, he discovers a godsend: a roll of duct-tape with his Father’s name on it. He promptly gets to work on shoemaking.

Marvin, eager for the win, faces a moral dilemma. After pondering WWPD (What Would Phil Do), he decides to sabotage the other models by stalling their purchases. Nevertheless, by the end of the challenge, Kelly awards the win to…

DON. He chooses Marvin and Renee to accompany him in a visit to ̶M̶i̶k̶e̶'s̶ ̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ an ice-cream parlor. Hesitant to let any girl fall from his grasp, Marvin attempts to flirt with Renee. With Don as back-up, he seductively chants:


I Scream, You Scream
We All Scream, For Your Cream

Back at the house, Jiana and Phil worry over their low challenge scores. After returning from ice cream, Marvin learns that he shares a 5 with Jiana & Phil and argues with Chris. Chris gracefully takes all of his insults and prepares for the next shoot.

Growing Paints

The models enter into Tyra’s art exhibit, where she has portrayed famous supermodels using only make-up and hair skills. As part of her eventual world domination, Tyra explains that these photos will be broadcast globally. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, Tyra’s image will be projected to gaze over her empire. Slowly but surely, no one will be able to escape


The All-Seeing I(man)

And now Tyra wants to incorporate the models into her installation. They will be in a glass room where they will need to hold a pose while being splashed with paint.

Jourdan and Don both took the paint well, making beautiful shapes. Chris had difficulties in the beginning, taming his crazy eyes. He was giving a Mr. Hyde smize instead of a Dr. Jekyll smize (it’s official, Tyra Banks has driven me to insanity…)

Cory is ecstatic to work with the red paint. He uses the classic film Carrie as inspiration and well; let’s just say that his shoot was definitely a period piece…

Renee and Nina were very elegant in her movements. Jiana however, had setbacks from the very beginning. “I hate being sticky,” she pleads, explaining why she’s been avoiding Phil. She tried hard to engage in the shoot, but couldn’t pull it out.

Marvin also had trouble reacting to the paint. Just like women are thrown at him, Marvin flinches at the novel experience. Still, he manages to get a decent shot.

After the shoot, Jiana and Phil worry about the impending elimination. They fear that the shoot, combined with their low challenge score, will send them home. Marvin stresses alongside them.

Despite the comforts of Phil and Don, Marvin cannot stop crying in the shower. The guys assure him that he has nothing to worry about, but he continues to sob. After ten minutes of Marvin’s hysteria, Phil decides to unleash another miracle: turning water into whine.


“Hosanna!” exclaimed the angels. Luckily, the producers invested in a canoe; and the models travel to panel via the newly formed aqueducts (thanks Marvin!).

Panel

“You all know our judges. First, we have PR maven, Kelly Cutrone. Next, we have sexy British male model, Rob Evans. We also have our social media correspondent, Bryanboy."

“You know our prizes. The winner of America’s Next Top Model will receive a fashion feature in Nylon Magazine, be offered a contract with Next Models, and receive a $100,000 campaign with Guess.”



Marvin: Tyra calls the pose "stiff yet strong". Kelly comments that he recycles the same face week-to-week. He receives a mix of 7, 8, and 9.



Don: 
Rob chastises him for looking like an athlete more than a model. He also experiences a mixed reception of 6, 7, and 8.



Jourdan: H2T, fierce, smize, tooch! Tyra nearly orgasms. The judges give her the obvious 10s for this "work of art."



Phil: 
Rob calls the face "too soft" and Kelly agrees. He is greeted with a 5, 6, and 7.



Renee: Kelly feels that she could have pushed more, and settles on a 7. The others disagree, calling her a "bird on fire". They give her flaming 10s.



Jiana: Awkward seems to be consensus between the judges. Like Phil, she receives the scattered 6, 7, and 8.



Chris: 
Tyra wanted relaxation but Kelly loves the strength. He receives a mixed 7, 8, and 9.



Cory: "Androgyny with a mix of power, Tyra claims with her 9. The other judges follow suit with 8s.



Nina: Nina is praised for having an editorial and powerful pose. She is given a 7, 8, and 9.

“Nine beautiful models stand before me. But I only have 8 photos in my hands. And these eight photos represent the eight of you who are still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model. The model with the best score and therefore, best photo is…”

JOURDAN (44.5)
RENEE (37.9)
NINA (37.9)
CHRIS (36.8)
CORY (35.3)
DON (35.3)
MARVIN (34.0)

"Will Jiana and Phil please step forward? I only have one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the beauty that is still in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model. With a score of 27.0 to 26.9, that model is..."

PHIL
Next week, the models will take a turn in L.A. Fashion Week. Who can walk the walk? Until next week...

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