We interrupt your normally scheduled recap to bring you this very important public service announcement. It seems that Tyra has taken the advice of a wise young woman and indeed, put some twenty-twos on that bitch. It is with great vigor that I can officially confirm: cycle 22 of America’s Next Top Model has begun casting!I’m honestly just so excited to celebrate one more year of America’s Next Top Model. This show somehow continues to drag on. It resembles that one family puppy that you had in your youth who was so lifeless and full of energy. Now, it smells weird, it’s vision is bad, it sometimes pees on your carpet (how Lisa of them!), but you just let it live out it’s last hours: celebrating every day it manages to crawl out of bed. So, if you want to go and teach this old dog some new tricks, be sure to apply for cycle 22. You’ll join the illustrious ranks of top models like...oh...Well, your quirky habits will become a Top Model drinking game and honestly, this show always goes better with w(h)ine.A Grog Is A Man’s Best Friend
On a very special episode of America’s Next Top Model, the models travelled to Seoul, Korea and took on a new dance craze. Raelia was born to beat, and danced away with the prize. During an advertisement shoot for MCM handbags, Keith toted the top spot. Even though Chantelle had trouble clutching the concept of the shoot, it was Raelia who pursed her lips: being the first model eliminated overseas. Now, only six models remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?When the models return to the house, Keith’s photo is seen being digitally displayed. Keith and Adam laments his behavior during the last panel and Adam promises he will not drink before any more major events again. Adam confides in Keith, telling him that he used be a “total math nerd” (break those stereotypes, Adam!) The reason why Adam turns to partying is to “get loose” once in a while.On the other side of the house, loose lips are sinking Chantelle’s ships. She overhears the other models complaining that Raelia should have stayed over her, and moves forward. “If I don’t make friends, that’s A-OK as well, because I’m not here for that,” Chantelle claims. “I’m not scared of not having friends, I’m scared that I will beat a bitch down.”Whoa, there Chantelle. Don’t pull a Romeo and headbutt these models. But then again, she’s being a butthead to Lenox, whose only trying to enlighten her on the way she’s being portrayed.Make Me Up Before You Go-See
The next day, the models are greeted by Kelly Cutrone and a K-Pop star named Jay Park at the MCM Flagship store. She alerts them that they will have four hours to visit five clients in South Korea. They must travel in pairs in order to minimize confusion, and return to the Flagship Store before time runs out, or risk disqualification.Considering the collective brainpower of these models (bar Adam of course), I’m scared that they might inadvertently wander into the 38th Parallel…
Well, their model careers are blowing up either way…
Adam and Lenox team up to tackle the Korean fashion market. Will quickly clutches onto Shei, leaving Keith to pair with Chantelle. Everyone is annoyed by her attitude, so Keith attempts to befriend Chantelle.Adam has a gameplan for hitting as many go-sees as possible. He and Lenox agree to travel to the farthest one and then work their way down. “I’m a genius,” Adam declares. When the duo arrives to their first client (Resurrection), they find out that Will/Shei and Keith/Chantelle have already arrived. Considering the only map-reading Keith does involves hastily-drawn Xs and Os, I’m not surprised that the football player outwitted these four other models.The clients at Resurrection consider Chantelle a little “too extreme” for the soft brand they’re trying to embody. Shei is also struck with the “edgy” curse and fails to book that show. The Goldilocks at Resurrection lament that Will is “too tall” for their clothes while Adam is “too short”. Keith, however, fits the brand perfectly and “wears the clothes” nicely. Apparently, Korean pants are built to support a third leg…After booking Resurrection, Lenox goes to Jinny Kim. She is impressed by Lenox’s photos, and is taken aback after speaking to Lenox. Jinny is convinced that, with her determination and passion for the business, Lenox can have a career in the Korean market. Heart and Seoul
On the heels of Lenox’s casting, Keith and Shei also embody the sole of Jinny’s collection. But not everyone is cut out for this line of work. Chantelle, Adam, and Will are booted from this go-see because they don’t represent Jinny’s clientele.By the time they reach The Studio K, Chantelle is nervous because she hasn’t booked any shows like Keith has. Upon meeting the clients, Keith turns up the charm, allowing the designers to lighten up. The workers at The Studio K love Keith’s personality and, by extension, Chantelle. They agree to book both of the models, much to Chantelle’s pleasure. On the way back, she questions the decision but then just settles for excitement. That’s right Chantelle, don’t look a gift manaconda in the mouth…Lenox and Shei find similar success at Mag & Logan. At the final go-see (Johnny Hates Jazz), Will and Adam feel Johnny’s famous ire. Having hit all the go-sees they can, the six models decide to return to the Flagship.After some consultation with Kelly Cutrone, the models are given their results:
Will (0/4)
Adam (1/4)
Chantelle (1/5)
Shei (2/4)
Lenox (4/4)
Keith (4/5)
Even though he’s excited for Keith, Adam is disheartened that he didn’t do better. While Chantelle is alone in the house sobbing about her predicament (is her county having war?), Keith decides to talk to have a bro talk with Adam about the recent challenge.Keith mentions that Adam was very tense during the go-sees and fears that his dependence on alcohol may have to do with that. Keith sits Adam down for an intervention, fearing for his future as the friends they’ve become. Adam admits that he drinks because he’s afraid of failing, and vows that he will cut back to overcome this terror.Nothing to Beer But Beer Itself…
While Adam struggles with inner demons, Will is having trouble letting it out. Lenox talks to him about the challenge and Kelly’s advice that “personality can help you book a show even if you don’t have the right look.” I don’t know what Kelly has been smoking, but designers don’t book models because of zany personalities. As much as I’d love to see the runways of Milan full of clowns and projectile telephones, it’s all about the proportions of your body. Nevertheless, Will doesn’t stress too much about it and instead, pledges to produce more amazing photographs.Palace in Wonderland
The next day, the models are taken to the Gyeongbokgung Palace (which allegedly means ‘Blessed by Heaven’.) I’m not so sure about this place being spiritual, but Tyra decides to grace these models with her presence on set. After she heard that Erik Asla is the photographer of this Palace shoot, Tyra became very eager to get on her knees and prey…Backstage, Adam struggles with his newly sober lifestyle. His intervention (divine or otherwise) helps him on set: Adam is able to connect with the female model and makes interesting shapes. Shei also creates chemistry during the shoot, impressing the client with the way she showcases the footwear. When Will sizes up his wardrobe, he finds that being tall has put him in another disadvantage. Since the photoshoot is for Jinny Kim’s shoes, that is the most important part of his ensemble. “The largest they have is a 10,” Will laments. “And I’m a 13.” Well, you do know what they say about men with big feet…
They struggle to fit into small Korean shoes, ya nasty. Still, Will does manage to make dynamic poses while handling an umbrella and uncomfortable footwear.
When Lenox gets on set, Yu Tsai is not inspired. He claims that, despite her great performance on set, the camera “doesn’t love Lenox.” Jeez Yu Tsai, the camera is waiting for their wedding night before it gets too intimate with Lenox…Keith does great in front of the camera and Tyra comments that he is just getting “better and better.” Chantelle, on the other hand, left the clients wanting more during her shoot. After dealing with Yu Tsai’s insensitive ‘panda’ comment last week, Chantelle couldn’t focus on the photoshoot. She decides to converse with him after the shoot to clear the air. “I wouldn’t want people thinking that, since you’re so high up in the industry,” Chantelle lies, “that you calling me ‘panda’ is acceptable. Children with skin conditions could look up to me and think that these hurtful names are alright.”Even though Chantelle is being very clear and rational about her discomfort with the nickname, Yu Tsai gets offended and insists that he only calls her ‘panda’ out of love. What he fails to realize is that, regardless of intent, she doesn’t appreciate the name. Besides, if I wanted to call you bitch, but do it lovingly, is it any different?Well, even after the shoot, Chantelle still has trouble with words. After Shei spills the beans with some confidential information Chantelle confessed, Keith approaches her. He wants to understand why Chantelle would lie about hooking up with him. When she can’t form a valid excuse for her dishonesty, Chantelle freaks out and sleeps on the couch. Did she think lying about having sex would result in gaining Keith’s affection? It sounds too much like the plot of some B-list teen movie to actually work in the Top Model house.Now that she’s ostracized herself from everyone else in the house, Chantelle sleeps alone in the living room while the others beg for her elimination this week.Panel
Tyra loves the chemistry that
Keith has with the other model and gifts him a 10. Kelly and Miss Jay settle on 9s.
While Tyra deems
Lenox's picture a 10, Miss Jay feels that it could be "more captivating" and gives her an 8. Kelly also lands on 8, wanting more from Lenox.
There is a mixed reception with
Adam's picture. Miss Jay calls it an 7, and Tyra feels like the control is 9-worthy. Kelly middles out with an 8.
Even though
Shei has a pinhead, Tyra loves the "side tooch". She is given a mix of 7, 8, and 9.
There is a lack of intensity in
Chantelle's photo. Kelly thinks there she has a dead face and Chantelle gets a myriad of 6, 7, and 8.
Tyra loves the "equisite" pose and gives
Will a 10. Kelly and Miss Jay think his look is more of an 8.
"Now the judges and I will add up these scores and see who will still be in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model."
"The model with the best score, and whose photo will be used as an advertisement for Jinny Kim Shoes, is..."
KEITH (44.4)
LENOX (42.0)
WILL (39.8)
SHEI (38.5)
"Chantelle and Adam, you two have the lowest scores. With a score of 37.0 to 33.7, the beauty that will remain in this competition is..."
ADAM
With only five models left, the competition heats up in an Elvis/Marilyn Monroe photoshoot. Then, they act in a Korean soap opera to determine who will make it to the finale. With only a few weeks left, be sure to check back next week. Until then...
