ANTM Cycle 22 Episode 8: "G.I. No"

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the models learned how to act. Lacey acted like she actually has common sense and won the CW sitcom challenge. At a commercial shoot for Boom Boom Boom Deodorant, Devin caused a stink. But it was ultimately Ashley who didn’t get a callback: now with nine models left; who will be eliminated tonight?

As soon as they return to the Top Model house, Mikey and Devin go to the posing station to mourn Ashley. 

At least Devin bothered to wear black. Come on Mikey, it wouldn’t kill you to dress up for the occasion. Just think of it like a wedding, a prom, or one of your brothers’ parole hearings.

Nevertheless, Mikey tries to wrap his mind around the loss: “it’s like they took the L from TLC,” Mikey explains. Except in this case, we’re keeping in the Ls.

Devin can’t hold himself together as well as Mikey. Devin starts caterwauling about losing the “best friend and person in the entire world”. They’re at a funeral pyre but Devin still manages to be the most flaming one in the room…

What I don’t understand is Mikey’s nonchalance about the elimination. He states that he misses Ashley, but wants to focus on the competition. It seems like a cover-up for what he’s really thinking: a perfect time to swoop in and repair his relationship with Courtney. 

She mentioned wanting to reconnect with Mikey and Devin because the beginning of the competition was hard for her. Courtney even takes the time to think of a new title for their squad: DMC. I know she doesn’t know much about the outside world, but that name is practically ordering Courtney to save herself: Run (away from) DMC.

Those boys haven’t treated you right, you think they care about you Court? You might be loving for (Courtney) Love in all the wrong places, but she is desperate for companionship.

Meanwhile, Lacey is celebrating her win in the Tyra Suite. Her and Nyle are blessed to have a third week in the Suite away from the dramatics downstairs. After laying on her bed, Lacey decides to watch the Ty-Ty Tip. Tyra warns her not to get too sexual in her photos and applauds her growth throughout the competition.

While Lacey was excited to get the attention from Tyra, I would be really worried. With the way this season is going, Lacey reminds me a lot of last cycle’s Lenox: her name starts with an L, she’s a virgin, has lots of first-call-outs, and Tyra punishes her sensuality. Lacey, if you want to avoid getting fourth place, you better spend the night with a guy soon. Take one for the team, Nyle!

As if all of this drama isn’t enough, Hadassah starts feeling suspicious of Bello. She mentions that her relationship with him started strong, but has started getting rocky. I can agree with Hadassah’s sentiment. Bello has been acting strange lately: hanging out alone, eating food outside, staring at Hadassah from a distance...these are all signs of a distressed man.

Bello explains that...WAIT FOR IT...he is “not here to make friends.” His eyes may be unique, but that phrase is as cliche as they come. But Bello doesn’t care; he came to Los Angeles with fifteen dollars in his pocket and a brother’s floor to sleep on. Bello is determined to not squander the opportunity. Friendship doesn’t pay the bills, but then again, neither does Bello…

Now that the stage has been set, the models are driven to a high school for their next challenge. Miss Jay plays a message from Tyra that introduces their objective: create a six-second Vine about gender inequality in the STEM fields. 

For those who are unaware about the pay-gap, let’s use ANTM as a learning tool. If Nina was asked to dress up as an androgynous sex robot instead, she would have been paid 52 cents compared to Cory’s dollar. Talk about inequality: both of those wages aren’t enough for that job!

Miss Jay then brings out the special judge for this challenge: Brittany Furlan.

If you’re scratching your head and asking ‘who’, you’re not that far off. She’s credited as a ‘Vine star’, but that means absolutely nothing to me. She explains that making Vine PSAs will be a great way to recruit young women into the science industry. Yes, people with the attention span to watch a video snippet are the ones I want handling dangerous chemicals! No wonder Brittany is so popular on Vine, she’s probably more tolerable in six second bursts.

With all of that, Brittany splits up the models into groups of three: Bello/Courtney/Devin, Justin/Lacey/Nyle, and Hadassah/Mamé/Mikey. She offers up her Vine ‘expertise’ for those teams that can’t turn on a phone and click ‘go to app’. Courtney appreciates the guidance.

Before they go off, Miss Jay assigns each group a word that goes with their PSA. Hadassah has ‘Respect’, Bello has ‘Power’, and Lacey has ‘Money’. I’d say that Hadassah’s team has a bit of a disadvantage; the easiest way to show respect for yourself is to not do this challenge...

Still, the models go out and try to emulate these traits. Brittany, whose career as a Viner gives her neither respect or power, decides to help out the Money team first. She likes the direction that Nyle and Justin are headed with letting the dollar bills “speak for themselves.” 

For their Power PSA, Bello and Devin decide to act like bullies taunting the schoolgirl Courtney. At first I realized how weird it is to see 20-year-olds playing teenagers but then I remembered that this is on the CW...

That however, is the least of their concerns. After getting some of the frames necessary for their Vine, Bello accidentally deletes the footage. Brittany tries to retrieve the data but no avail. Well, when the Vine expert can’t help, that’s when you know the situation is dire.

Hadassah, Mikey, and Mamé decide to go for the comedic approach. I’m not sure how they plan to make gender discrimination in the workplace funny, but at long as they don’t take advice from Jerry Springfield; Mikey’s team should be fine.

After finishing the videos, each team’s Vine is assessed by the schoolgirls. For having the most ‘relatable’ PSA, the winners of this challenge are...

Unfortunately, the winners aren’t actually given any monetary prizes for their victory. I suppose encouraging young female minds is reward enough, but making six-second clips isn’t going to inspire anyone. Might as well have given Mikey a date with Brittany Furlan: get ready for DMB!

Even though he got a low challenge score, Devin is happy because he can still celebrate something else. “It’s my birthday,” he proclaims. “I’m turning 22 in cycle 22.” I figure that’s pretty fitting for Devin: he’s signed to 6 agencies when he was 6! He’s been in the bottom 2 and his eyes look in 2 different directions!

He begins the party by marking the moment. Because he doesn’t have an Oppo phone to himself, Devin decides to use Nyle’s Oppo phone for selfies (was that a proper amount of Oppo phone mentions?). Nyle sees that Devin’s not taking the Oppo(tunities) to communicate and gets angry. I’d be upset too if someone used my Oppo phone to take this horrid selfie.

Nyle may not be able to hear evil, but he can still see it Devin! In the end, the models once again apologize for leaving Nyle out of the party. 

After their festive night, the models are driven to the studio for their next shoot. They walk in to see Erik Asla taking pictures of Tyra’s box. Enough with your sex life, Ty-Ty!

Tyra explains that she wants the models to pose as dolls; inspired by her movie Life-Size. She assigns them each different doll themes. Sadly, matryoshka wasn’t one of them. With the recent formation of DMC, Courtney’s already in Mikey, so I don’t see why it can’t be applied to the photoshoot...

For the most part, everyone struggled with the concept of body isolations and posing like a doll. The biggest endeavor came from Courtney.

When she arrived on set, she didn’t know what a ‘fierce fashionista’ was and asked Yu Tsai for help. He was shocked that Courtney could lack such basic terminology. Next you’re gonna tell me she doesn’t know a booching baller is!

Yu Tsai decides to ask if she can relate to the models in Vogue. When she admits to not reading the magazine, Yu flips out on Courtney. Sorry Yu, don’t you know? Everyone Vines now, there’s not any time to read a 720 page book every week. Get with the times!

After all of the models pose as dolls, they return home to find a special surprise. The elimination will be a double: everyone is scared that their time may be up.

PANEL



Kelly likes Nyle’s body definition and before Tyra can salivate over the words boom boom boom, Miss Jay mentions Nyle’s weird hand proportions. Likewise, Justinhas good skin and believability with his entire picture. Courtney, on the other hand, is “too scary” for Kelly. Tyra is more shocked that she doesn’t read Vogue. 


Similar to Nyle, Mikey has a weird disconnect between his hands and body. In addition, Tyra admits that Mikey didn’t have a lot of good frames to choose from. Kelly laments that Bello can’t translate his personality into a photo; saying it lacks attitude. Miss Jay is confused about Hadassah’s dazed expression. Tyra praises her for steadily improving each week.


Kelly likes that Lacey interacted with the set and Tyra loves the face. As for Devin, Miss Jay is worried about the return of the eyebrow. Tyra calls the kettle black the photo too dramatic. Lastly, the judges agree that Mamé looks too pedestrian in her picture.

Now that the judges have seen all of their photos, the call-out begins:

LACEY (38.5)

NYLE (37.2)

JUSTIN (35.8)

MIKEY (35.7)

HADASSAH (34.2)

MAME (31.6)

“With the lowest score of 27.8, the first person eliminated is…”

COURTNEY

“And with a score of 31.5 to 31.0, the model that stays in the competition is…”

DEVIN

Courtney is happy for the opportunity to escape the drama and return home. She wants to go and make sure her disabled brother Emmanuel is doing all right. Bello, on the other hand, is offended at the judges’ implication that he lacks passion. He swears that if there’s a chance of a comeback, he will return to the competition and snatch the crown.
Luckily, next week may see his dream come true. The remaining models are paired with the eliminated ones for a go-see challenge, which may see one of them return to the competition.That, coupled with a canine-themed photoshoot, may see Bello come back. So until then, remember…

The Bitch Is Back