After coming back from panel, Ava admits to the others that she isn’t used to this amount of drama. “I’m homeschooled,” she explains. “This is all new to me.”
And with that statement, I finally understand why she’s always looking so bewildered. She’s experiencing the outside world for the first time! That must be why she gets along with Courtney so well; they’re both slowly learning about the cruel cruel streets.
Ava Worries About Gas Prices
Courtney Panics With Gun Laws
The Girls Fear Big Business
But Bello is less than impressed with Courtney’s antics. He notices that she likes to listen in on conversations and then spread their words around. “There’s something fishy about Courtney,” Bello declares. “I can smell it.” Gosh Bello, you know she’s a shut-in! She probably hasn’t been exposed to Summer’s Eve yet…
On the other side of the house, there is a lot less to sniff out. Mamé and Justin are in the shower together. Mamé claims that they’re in there “preserving water”: and as Californians, I do appreciate their efforts. No wonder Mamé placed Top 5 in the Miss USA pageant, she knows all the right things to say. If only she were raising taxes and deporting immigrants in that bathtub; Mamé could’ve won Trump’s entire contest!
After their humanitarian efforts, Justin talks to DMA. They’re conversing when, get this, Mikey makes the most oblivious comment I’ve ever heard. “Justin, I know for a fact that Mamé likes you a lot.”
What gave you that idea, Mikey? Was the hickey from last week just a (literal) red herring? Did you miss the part where they were in the shower planning the next season of The Apprentice? Were you too busy trying to please Ashley that you missed Justin and Mamé actually succeeding?
Nevertheless, after they’ve all got cleaned up, the models are taken to a studio. Kelly Cutrone introduces them to their guest; Whitney Lee Thompson, the winner of cycle 10! Whitney was our first
As the spokesperson for the brand, Whitney will be posing with each of the models for a Simply Be campaign. They will be put into pairs and must come up with a tagline for their advertisement. I understand that it’s a little tough for these models to think and pose, so I took the liberty of creating some catchphrases for each group:
Ashley, Mikey & Devin - Simply Be the Third Wheel
Hadassah & Mame - Simply Be *the* Pageant Girl
Ava & Courtney- Simply Be Amazed by Indoor Plumbing
Mikey is excited to work with the cycle 10 winner. Whitney’s campy and Mikey’s pitching a tent: they’re a perfect match!
Fortunately, Mamé have the same chemistry with Mikey. After suggesting Simply Be Seductive, she tells Mikey to grab some duct tape and use it to wrap her up. I think it’s sexiest when used to cover Mikey’s mouth, but to each her own…
When Nyle and Justin get on set, they set out to Simply Be Heard. After some cutesy shots, the boys decide to amp up the sex appeal and take off their shirts.
I don’t know if they’re simply being heard, but if they keep letting their bodies talk: I’m simply listening.
When it’s finally their time to get behind the camera, Mamé and Mikey are a little uninspiring. Kelly Cutrone challenges them to begin making out and get some passion from there. They awkwardly glare at each other when Kelly specifies, “my idea of making out is kissing.” It’s really divorcing and taking half of the money, but for her purposes, Kelly defines ‘making out’ as kissing.
At first, Mamé and Mikey are a little apprehensive to lock lips with their significant others watching. But then Mamé diplomatically argues that it’s all to achieve the perfect photograph. If Ashley and Justin are into it, this can always become a Simply Be A Swinger campaign.
After the groups finish, Whitney calls them over for a winner. Even though there were a lot of good photos, Whitney choose Nyle for “going the extra mile” and taking off his shirt. Hmmmm...being hated by many? Desperately trying to stay relevant in 2015? Picking a challenge winner because he took off his clothes? Is Whitney actually Perez Hilton in disguise?
Nevertheless, all of the models are elated for Nyle. Lacey is happy to see her friend get praised and vows to win the Tyra Suite again to hang out more. While some of the models go to sleep, Mamé and Justin decide to start spring cleaning and polish up the house. He was probably misunderstood when Mamé said “french maid,” but nevertheless, Justin is excited.
While dusting, Mamé starts to throw shade at Hadassah, Ava, and Bello for resting. “They never clean up. Why do you want to live in filth?” says the girl living in sin. After her exhausting work, Mamé decides to go use the bathroom. Unfortunately, Hadassah is already showering and asks Mamé to leave. Activist Mamé, concerned with the amount of water Hadassah’s consuming, stands her ground.
Hadassah warns Mamé that her behavior is not appropriate for a Miss USA (third runner-up). Mamé, frustrated beyond belief at her comment, screams out: “I’m the pageant girl!” Hadassah retorts with an equally intense “I’m the pageant girl!” It’s like two parrots squawking at each other.
Luckily, Ava has the Balls to go in and end the pageant war. She signals the girls to prepare for the next photoshoot.
After they arrive to the location, Yu Tsai welcomes them to their “fashion exorcism” shoot. They will be clothed in white, suspended in the air with a harness, and given blue eye contacts. I don’t know what’s scarier: the exorcism shoot or Erik Asla’s photography.
On a whole, the models have trouble staying in the air. But none have as much of a struggle as Bello.
I hate to make Bello the butt of a joke, but this is too good of a moment to pass up. I’m not very knowledgeable in exorcism techniques, but I’m pretty sure that’s where the other demons come out of, Bello. Unless he’s giving commentary on how models are treated like baboons, I’m sure this is just a high fashion picture of Bello’s ass. I’m a fanny!
Hadassah tries to invoke fear in her face and, after listening to Yu Tsai’s advice, comes out with a good photo. Likewise, Nyle and Lacey both are able to contort their bodies into looking like something from a slasher film.
Sadly for Courtney, her show was more rocky than horror. Yu Tsai implies that she has the face of a supermodel but the “body of a cockroach.” According to Courtney, that’s dinner so she can't comprehend how to change. Similarly, Ashley can’t manage to emote correctly. Erik encourages her to scream and “fake it till she makes it”. A photoshoot is not the appropriate time for sex advice, Erik Asla!
After all the models finish, they are greeted to a Skull Mail. Before resting, the models decide to call a house meeting. Justin is determined to squash the drama between Hadassah and Mamé:
I have to agree with Justin here. Mamé and Hadassah are more similar than they want to believe. They’re both pageant girls, they’re both strong black women working in the modelling industry, they’re both capable of great pictures, and they’ve both been on the bottom multiple times.
Still, Hadassah and Mamé put their differences aside for now and agree to disagree.
Panel
Tyra likes that Justin modelled with the set but Miss Jay fears that he has the same expression of his face every week. Lacey, on the other hand, is able to adapt and Kelly applauds the “fluidity” of her movements.
When criticizing her photo, Kelly admits that Courtney scares her. Unfortunately, Tyra feels that it’s too horror and loses its modelling potential. With Hadassah, the judges are finally happy that she can take a good photo. Miss Jay believes that her profile is her best angle and warns her to continue using her assets.
Speaking of assets, there’s Bello’s picture. Tyra says that when looking through his frames, this was the one she felt was “dynamic.” I know she’s a ass woman, but damn.
Tyra likes that Justin modelled with the set but Miss Jay fears that he has the same expression of his face every week. Lacey, on the other hand, is able to adapt and Kelly applauds the “fluidity” of her movements.
When criticizing her photo, Kelly admits that Courtney scares her. Unfortunately, Tyra feels that it’s too horror and loses its modelling potential. With Hadassah, the judges are finally happy that she can take a good photo. Miss Jay believes that her profile is her best angle and warns her to continue using her assets.
Speaking of assets, there’s Bello’s picture. Tyra says that when looking through his frames, this was the one she felt was “dynamic.” I know she’s a ass woman, but damn.
Both Nyle and Mame are told that their poses are natural and strong. Ashley, on the other hand, has a great body but didn’t commit to the emotion in her face.
Tyra commends Devin’s upper torso, but Kelly wishes he was a bit more limp. Kelly is disappointed with Ava and the lack of involvement with the set. Likewise, Mikey can’t seem to let go during the shoot and ends up photographing with these shrinking poses that diminish his height.
Now that the judges have seen all of their photos, the call-out begins:
NYLE (39.7)
LACEY (35)
MAME (34.5)
HADASSAH (33.4)
JUSTIN (32.9)
DEVIN (32.7)
ASHLEY (32.2)
MIKEY (32.1)
BELLO (31.6)
“With a score of 31.4 to 29.6, the model that says in the competition is…”
COURTNEY
Next week, the models will get sexy for a seductive photoshoot. Until then!
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