ANTM Cycle 22 Episode 7: "Life's A Beach"

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the models simply made advertisements for Simply Be. After winning the challenge, Nyle also took home best picture during a possession-themed photoshoot. Even though Courtney’s potential was up in the air, Ava couldn’t bare to be Linda Blair. Ultimately, the Christian girl became Tyra’s prey. Now, only ten models remain, who will be eliminated tonight?

As the models walk in, everyone congratulates Nyle for getting best picture. Even though he appreciates the sentiment, Nyle is concerned that he’s “not connecting” with the other models. He thinks about ways to reduce his solitude while taking a bubble bath.

What a great idea Nyle! That’s the “love tub” from last episode; so if he wants the company of (a horny) Mamé, Ashley, Justin, and Mikey: just stay there till nightfall.

Unfortunately, Nyle decides to go back to the Tyra Suite instead. He is greeted with a video of Tyra clumsily attempting sign language. I know ‘getting handsy’ takes on a new meaning with deaf people, but this is a little ridiculous…

Nevertheless, Tyra celebrates his challenge win and then motions toward her breasts a couple of times. The subtitles say “remember to be sexy in pictures, Nyle’’ but I think some of the nuance was lost in translation.

Elsewhere, Mamé is growing concerned about her relationship with Justin. Even though they like each other, Mamé feels that Justin is “drifting away” from her. He confesses that he wants to “focus on the competition,” but I think Mamé is the better investment. Justin’s relationship would last at least three months; much longer than any modelling career this show has to offer…

Decisions, decisions…

After Justin sleeps on it, the models are given a new challenge. They meet with a producer from The CW and her group of advisors. Each model will be paired up and be asked to perform a “Shakespearean love scene” for the entourage. 

Kelly promises the winner a walk-on role on a ‘scripted’ CW show. I’d like to say that all reality television is scripted, but I can’t honestly proclaim that someone was paid to write stuff like ‘this photo needs a good no-neck monster.” No, salaried writers are reserved for finer content:

In addition to the role of smizing pedestrian, the winner of this challenge will also gain a perfect score, a huge advantage for this week.

Lacey is especially excited for this challenge. She admits that it’s been her childhood hope to star on a sitcom. Being on a television network with a 20% retention rate: one can only dream!

Fortunately, the CW has such a diverse pool of programing that whoever wins will find their perfect match. Only few channels can provide such quality shows that mysteriously get cancelled after their first season…

Mame - Privileged

Devin -H8R

Ashley - Gossip Girl

Hadassah - 8 Simple Rules (for Living with Me)

Bello - 90210

Justin - Valentine

Mikey -18 to Life

Nyle -The Originals

Lacey -Jane the Virgin

Courtney - Farmer Wants A Wife

With his dream job on the line, Devin worries about being funny. Devin, didn’t you hear that Denzel won a role in a Tyler Perry program last season? There’s no reason to be comedic!

Still, Devin attempts to fill up his performance with campy flair. “If I get someone laughing, I’ve done my job,” Devin declares. With that attitude, he’ll never be a writer for The CW…

Bello and Mikey also mess up their delivery of the scene. In fact, only Lacey and Nyle seem to be able to make any sense of the acting challenge.

So...with only two choices, the CW decides to give the win to Lacey! She jumps up and down in celebration. Feigning excitement over a twelve second cameo in The Flash? Lacey did deserve to win this acting challenge.

Back in the house, Devin is saddened over the fact that he got a low challenge score.

How poetic that Devin got a 6. It’s the same number of agencies he’s signed to. That’s also the age he was during his last modelling campaign; so the number holds meaning for him.

In celebration of his best picture last week, Nyle gets to have a “sign and dine” with a friend from back home. Brittany, his high school sweetheart, comes bye to destroy Kelly Cutrone’s dreams.

Wanting to feel connected to all of the other models, Nyle invites them all to a silent dinner. He and Brittany take turns teaching the models how to sign. Even though they shake their hands like they’re at a Prince concert, Nyle appreciates the effort.

After dinner, the models are whisked away for a commercial shoot at the beach. Yu Tsai introduces their product: Boom Boom Boom Deodorant.

I don’t know if Tyra has lost all credibility or if someone is just a huge fan of Katy Perry’s Firework, but I don’t think Boom Boom Boom is an actual brand.

Nevertheless, the models are paired up for this sexy scene. Mikey and Mamé are once again forced to come together and passionately kiss on set.

Oh, you two. Go get a room (preferably Nyle’s. He gets so lonely…)

Bello and Courtney have a bit of a harder time getting it on. She doesn’t have the confidence to see herself as a sexy being and thus, fails at the shoot. Likewise, Ashley and Nyle find it awkward to look seductive on film.

Lacey tries hard not to let Devin drag her down. She focuses all of her energies on performing her own pictures, and with good reason. He oversexualizes his poses and end up looking more bothered than hot.

Hadassah and Justin waste no time getting their shots. Mamé is a little jealous but she knows that this is just another side of modelling. Hadassah feels strange and worries this might start their feud back up. Getting felt up by Justin: yet another thing that Mamé and Hadassah have in common!

After they clean up all the sand in their pants, the models prepare for the impending elimination.

Panel


Mikey & Mame have a great chemistry. Miss Jay thinks that Mame relies on being pretty, but the women disagree. Tyra loves that she’s ‘inhaling’ and showcasing her profile. Mikey, on the other hand, is visibly struggling with the cold.


The judges agree that Justin is the star of this commercial. Hadassah is treated more like his ‘accessory’ than another model.


Just like Justin before him, Bello is the more dominant model in this commercial. Kelly admits that Courtney gave great visual moments when she wasn’t delivering lines.


Devin is ‘too campy’ for Tyra: she exclaims as she begins an exaggerated retelling of Devin’s commercial. Miss Jay is happy that Lacey listened to the advice from the challenge and continued to act well.


The judges are all in unision about Nyle & Ashley's commercial. It seems to have a lack of passion and Kelly blames it on the real-life affairs in the house.
Now that the judges have seen all of their photos, the call-out begins:

LACEY (37.1)

MAME (35)

NYLE (34.7)

BELLO (33.7)

MIKEY (33.1)

JUSTIN (31.3)

HADASSAH (30.1)

COURTNEY (29.5)

“And with a score of 28.4 to 27.2, the model that stays in the competition is…”

DEVIN

Ashley is happy to have experienced the trials and tribulations of the modelling world. She hopes to use this platform as a starting point and use her story to inspire more victims of sexual abuse to speak out.

Next week, the models take on a PSA for troubled youth. Then, they’ll pose as childhood dolls. Get ready to live a teenage dream next week, there’ll be skin tight jeans.