On the last episode of Top Model,
When they return to the SLS, Mikey receives a SMS.
The #TyTyTip basically praises Mikey for moving during his photoshoots and encourages him to ask photographers if he can jump around. I love how much progress we’ve made in the modelling industry. Models move on their own, have unique walks, talk back to photographers: soon they may even be able to vote! #ModelCitizens
Not wanting to be selfish, Mikey then proposes his own #Tip to the girls left in the competition. He proposes a “Vegas threesome” to the two pageant girls. Mamé is still grieving over the lost of Justin, but Hadassah has other intentions. At panel, the judges warned her to “let loose”, so Hadassah is really trying to embody a free spirit. I’d say ‘sleeping with Mikey’ definitely qualifies as the pinnacle of the Vegas experience:
Anonymity - What happens in Vegas, gets broadcast on a public television show.
Recommended Locale - Much like Caesars or The Strip, Mikey’s dick has glowing reviews from at least 50 women. Yelp critics weigh in with an average 6.5; 8.0 on a good day.
Gambling - Shake the dice and get public lice! Mikey’s a dirty blonde, and the carpet probably match the drapes. There’s many things you could catch from Mikey, here’s hoping a break is one of them.
Regret - Forgot the mile high club, you’re gonna want to join a nunnery on your flight back home.
Still, Hadassah is determined to make the most of her trip to Vegas. Thankfully, the models are whisked away before Mikey’s Suite can be put to
Kelly Cutrone greets the models at the Zappos Couture headquarters. For a largely online company, Zappos has a pretty hefty physical presence. Still, that doesn’t change the quality of their products. One of the “quirky” pieces of furniture is a garbage can full of Zappos shoes; I suppose that’s pretty emblematic of the brand as a whole.
Kelly explains that Zappos wants to create a “luxury platform” and they’re currently the sole provider for fashionable family clothing. (WARNING: Just like Kelly’s blatantly scripted lines of praise, the shoe puns don’t stop here.)
Along with the marketing executive, Kelly explains that Zappos’ mission is to “sell happiness.” Unless every stiletto comes with a complimentary bag of ecstasy, I don’t know how realistic that goal is, Zappos!
Nevertheless, Kelly allows the models to roam around the warehouse and engage with the fun aesthetic of Zappos Couture. The models run around and enjoy a Zappos version of entertainment. Jumping into the ball pit, doodling on the walls with oversized crayons, driving smaller community stores out of business, playing with stuffed alligators!
The most naive quote probably comes from Lacey. “It’s crazy to see a billion dollar business can be so happy, it’s like you’re a kid forever.” Oh Lacey, I’m sure factory outsourcing is a riot. I hear on Fridays, they even give out ribbons to the children who don’t bleed on fabric. WAY TO TURN THE PARTY!
But let’s not bash capitalism too much here. They’re here to have fun with a capital F! After their tour of the facilities, the Zappos representatives reveal that the models will be in a salon show.
Before Andre Leon Talley can come busting out of a window, they specify, not a regular salon.
The Zappos women go on to explain: each model will be given a starting outfit that may or may not clash with their personal style. They will put it on and walk around the entire room like a prize dog during best-in-show. The Zappos buyers will then change parts of the costume that they don’t like and that the models won’t be comfortable in.
And the winner gets...the same ugly clothes they just modelled. Even some of the contestants are confused with the challenge, but it doesn’t matter. AS LONG AS THEY’RE HAVING FUN.
Lacey is the first to go; and she struggles with the Zappos showcase. The women think that she’s not embodying the flirty nature of the clothes and try to give her a new look. Even then, Lacey fails to impress the Zappos buyers.
Before Mikey gets on stage, he flirts with Mamé and Hadassah a little more. The girls are too busy getting ready, so he sulks back to the wardrobe department. I love this shot of Kelly Cutrone brushing his hair like a prized steed.
Either the budget has gone so downhill that Kelly has to do multiple jobs, or she has a thing for Mikey. Haven’t you heard, Kelly? He has room for approximately two women in his Tyra Suite. Better sign up before all the spots are filled!
Mikey is given a really “punk goth” look to sport on the runway. He’s given a black blazer, black skinny jeans, black boots, and some orange socks. I understand that orange is the new black, but it’s a little insensitive for a guy whose whole family is in prison…
Mamé has a very strong look, but the Zappos clients have a very specific mindset. They love her “curves” in the jeans and claim that she has the perfect body for their brand.
Nyle and Devin share the same feedback: they have the right energy walking out onto the runway. Whether it’s the fault of the clothes or not, the guys impress the Zappos clients.
However, of the last four models, only one can be the winner. So, who do the Zappos women pick as their spokesperson?
Oh right…
Mikey isn’t too thrilled about Mamé’s victory. This is her fourth challenge win and he feels threatened by anyone who does better than him. Back in the house, Mamé and Hadassah share a victory bag of Zappos garments before discussing the competition again.
Hadassah confronts Lacey about having the same look in every shoot. She tries to come back at Hadassah, but Lacey quickly realizes that the critique is true. If it’s any consolation, Lacey is as versatile as the photographer choices this season.
The next day, Yu Tsai and Erik Asla introduce the models to this week’s photoshoot: Fierce-a-Grams. The idea is that an edited photo would hide the craziness of a “wild night.” Usually, cropping is reserved for people who blink and unfocused babies, but this week requires it to tell a story.
You say “filter”, I say “filler”; I think we can both agree that this stupid Instagram photoshoot is a waste of time. Nevertheless, the models get to pose with a special guest.
Each model gets a specialized hashtag that they have to incorporate into their photo. Lacey gets to start out with the #responsiblespending prompt. She gets to pose with Mikey and Devin but loses the spotlight. So, they bring in a rooster (talk about solid investments!) Even then, Lacey isn’t the most interesting chick in that photo.
Nyle gets #golfingwiththeguys and Devin has #everythingsundercontrol. Both of the shoots involve hiding chaos, and the guys are able to pose well despite the chaos.
Hadassah has #studyinghard and Mamé gets #missingyou. Both of their shoots are invaded by Mikey, who is more interested in #closingthedeal than actually assisting their photos. Still, Hadassah gets pretty into the shoot.
Back in the house, it gets even more interesting. “Mikey has been suggesting some weird things,” Hadassah admits about the threesome plea. “And since we’re in Vegas…”
HA! This is why I love Hadassah. She can basically excuse anything as long as it’s done within the Las Vegas city limits.
- “Mikey wants to rob a bank, and since we’re in Vegas…”
- “Mikey wants to go cow tipping, and since we’re in Vegas…”
- ‘Mikey wants to shoot with someone who isn’t Erik Asla, and since we’re in Vegas…”
Devin tries to stop Hadassah from being “too loose” with Mikey and reminds them of Ashley, his girlfriend. Hadassah isn’t too concerned with the ended relationship.
“I know she’s your girlfriend, but she sucks.” Hadassah says, providing the definition of a girlfriend. Mikey is just as nonchalant, but the cuddle sesh ends with the news that they’re leaving Vegas. Damn Top Model budget foils yet another sexual encounter!
Once they’re situated back in LA, the models get the news of their next cut.
Panel
Tyra feels that Lacey lacks energy in her poses, and Kelly agrees. Miss Jay prefers the whole photo instead of the creative crop. Mikey, on the other hand, looks “cool” and is embodying a fashion moment. Tyra thinks it’s the best photo of the week.
The judges agree that Hadassah has a great face but she’s missing the “sexy element.” Likewise, Nyle isn’t giving his 100% and the judges fear that he might start relying on pretty.
Tyra admits that it was difficult to find a soft photo of Devin’s face. Kelly worries that he might become a one-trick pony if he continues to pose so flamboyantly. Mame, however, receives praise for her energy. She matches the hype in the photo yet still remains in control.
Now that the judges have seen all the photos, they will add up the scores. The model with the highest score is…
MAME (35.6)
MIKEY (35.2)
DEVIN (34.6)
NYLE (33.9)
And with a score of 31.0 to 30.2, the model who stays is…
LACEY
Overall, Hadassah is happy to have made it this far into the competition. Sadly, she’ll just have to settle for staring at her dream from a distance.
