The show starts off where it ended last episode; Tyra with one photo in her hands, Justin and Devin waiting, the show’s budget on the floor…
She reiterates that the trip is a “modelling business adventure.” At least Tyra’s being honest and not counting Vegas as an international destination. Gone are the days of the airplane montage; now we can barely afford a shot of them driving in a Jeep…
It’s no coincidence that the last timeAmerica’s Next Top Model didn’t leave the country was the only other cycle without a height requirement. The U.N. must have an agreement to put anyone under 5’7’’ on the No Fly List.
Anyway, back to the elimination. With a score of 31.3 to 29.9, Tyra announces, the model going to Vegas is...DEVIN.
Tyra reiterates that Justin has left and Dustin has taken his place. She laughs about the one-letter difference in their names and claims it to be “destiny”. Mamé, however, doesn’t want that D and sulks about the lost of Justin.
While the models are packing, they start to reflect on the journey so far. Dustin is overwhelmed by the whole comeback process. Even though he’s still in the competition, Dustin admits that he’s bummed to not finish his “high school memories.” I do feel sympathetic that Dustin’s missing his prom for America’s Next Top Model; he would have probably taken better pictures there.
And with that, they’re off! Devin is the first one to comment on their new housing. “It’s beautiful,” he exclaims. “Our penthouse is ridiculous.”
Well, that’s definitely an accurate description…
Even if it doesn’t live up to the ridiculously high Property Brothers standard like the last house, the penthouse still gets Hadassah’s stamp of approval. She even compares it to the hotels she frequented as a child. Whoever was her nanny had some exquisite taste!
Now that the models have settled in, Yu Tsai and Miss Jay greet them below in the pool area. There’s no time for a pool party, this is a “modelling business adventure,” remember? The guys introduce special guest, Don Benjamin.
No disrespect to Don, but couldn’t they have picked someone more relevant from cycle 20? Marvin, Renee, hell, even Mike! He could have at least lent them his ice cream truck for the Vegas trip.
But instead, we get Don. But let’s not be too cynical, Don is here to show that he found success after America’s Next Top Model (as a DJ). Between Whitney and Don; I find it amusing how much they don’t care if people find actual modelling experiences after the show. Even paparazzi shots of assaulting Nikki Blonsky are considered high-end photography. At least her face was beat!
Anyway, Don is here to introduce the challenge: to model these hideous garments while jumping into a pool.
I’m usually worried that my clothes will turned ugly when wet, but I don’t foresee that being much of a concern here.
Don then announces the twist: everyone will have only one frame to capture the “essence of Las Vegas.” It’s gonna be difficult to vomit tequila shots and get a marriage license within the same photograph; but these models are up for the challenge.
Some models get different props to help them in the photoshoot (as long as it’s not a teacup, right Ava?!) Hadassah gets some credit cards, which she is always used to having. “I love credit cards, no matter whose they are.” Oh Hadassah, if I wasn’t at such a distance, I’d stare at you all day.
In the end, Mamé wins the challenge yet again. When they get back to the house, Nyle is discouraged by his low challenge score.
Of course the week that Nyle comes out as sexually fluid is when he’s on the bottom. Devin tries to comfort him and states that he can prove himself during the photoshoot. Still, Nyle sulks about his sudden fall and worries that the difficulty spike has increased in Vegas.
Mikey is also feeling the pressure now that the numbers are shrinking. When Devin tries to console him however, Mikey shrugs it off and announces that he wants to be alone. Mikey confesses that the bromance is over and he needs to focus on himself. I would suggest solitary confinement; but that might hit a little too close to home for Mikey…
Still, Devin is skeptical of Mikey’s mood swings. “At night, I have one eye open, Mikey.” Now is not the time to brag, Devin!
Hadassah also has some annoyance of her own. She is fed up with Dustin and doesn’t think he should came back in the first place. He doesn’t “take the competition seriously” and Hadassah feels that his attitude doesn’t match the stakes of the Final 7. She eliminated him once and she’ll do it again!
With all of the tension in the house piling up, the models go to their next challenge. Tyra greets them and announces this week’s shoot will be a music video for her makeup theme song. It’s called Bootyful and sung by “Stori” (Tori Spelling must be desperate for a paycheck…)
Before they start, Tyra gives them a rundown of the product. Clearly, the reviews on the website are not to be trusted.
Those similes are more forced than this episode’s’ Oppo Phone product placement. Tyra explains that anyone can become a “beautytainer.” When you earn this privilege, you can then sell more makeup to other people and earn commission for those beautytainers’ sales. If growing up in Mary Kay-infested suburbia has taught me anything, it’s that Tyra’s product is a pyramid scheme. I suppose it’s fitting for ANTM: a pyramid scheme is the only time you want to truly “be on top.”
Anyway, Tyra gives the models two days to shoot the music video. Due to the ridiculous nature of this shoot; I’m willing to do a lyric analysis and attempt to understand Tyra’s psyche. Wish me luck.
[spoken] “So girl, what’s all this about, oh, she’s a natural beauty? She don’t need anything on her face. She wakes up alllllll perfect. Well, more power to the chick that doesn’t need a dayum thing on her face. But what about the rest of us? What about us?”
I think Tyra is trying to shade Beyoncé for her Flawless music video, but I don’t think she’s doing a good job of empowering anyone. If I wanted to know that Beyoncé ain’t special, this video gets the point across much faster.
“I want to get the fierce out of you. We gotta lipstick it, get it, good,
Other than the obvious Khia sampling, this verse doesn’t really do much to explain the product. What do those verbs even mean? Are you lipsticking it to the man? Applying it for a hot date? Throwing a tube of matte at someone ala Naomi Campbell?
“Raking up the bank signs, the bank signs.”
As if we didn’t have enough evidence that this was a get-rich-quick ploy. That Harvard business degree must be rolling over in its grave…
“Debbie, debbie, dip it, dip it. Pat it, pat it, click it, click it. Debbie, debbie, dip it, dip it. Pat it, pat it, click it, click it. Debbie, debbie, dip it, dip it. Pat it, pat it, click it, click it.”
I’m not entirely sure what the first part of the chant is, but I feel like a Debbie Downer for spending hours on this track: so I suppose that fits. I suppose I should applaud her attempt to rap in bars; but she deserves to be behind bars for that criminally simplistic eight-beat tune.
There’s also a shot of Hadassah staring into a mirror, seeing Tyra’s reflection, and smiling emphatically.
This is more sadistic than supportive. If Tyra had the magical power to appear in any reflective surface, you know she’d show up anytime a girl brushed her hair. It’d be like Bloody Mary but instead of saying her name, you have to cry “when I was 17 in Milan in Paris” three times before the mirror…
“Work that hallway like a runway. Work that hallway like a runway. Work that hallway like a runway. Work that hallway like a runway. Like a runway. Bootyful. TRICKS.”
I sincerely hope people do NOT take these lyrics to heart. School is hard enough with bullying and exams; I don’t want to strut through a hallway full of high heels and anti-fur protestors. But when fashion and education merge to create a human backpack; I have to wonder if Tyra’s plea isn’t that far-fetched...
“Debbie, debbie, dip it, dip it. Pat it, pat it, click it, click it. Debbie, debbie, dip it, dip it. Pat it, pat it, click it, click it. Debbie, debbie, dip it, dip it. Pat it, pat it, click it, click it.”
Now that we’re repeating verses, I suppose this is a good time to bring up Dustin’s continuous behavior on set. Hadassah chastised him for flirting with every girl around and he make no qualms about it; calling himself a “social butterfly.” He may have the general skills of a butterfly, but Dustin definitely doesn’t have the sex lifeof one.
“I, I, I, I see your beauty. Do you, do you, do you, do you? I, I, I, I see your beauty. Do you, do you, do you, do you?”
I don’t know if Tyra’s stuttering because she’s nervous or if that’s how she believes humans express emotion. Still, for a reflective bridge, it’s a strange concept.
If you thought Tyra was projecting onto Lacey last week, you haven't seen anything yet! This wouldn’t be strange if Tyra hadn’t admitted earlier that she sees Lacey as a younger (younger, younger) version of herself. Well, as long as Tyra sees Lacey’s beauty; it’s not too much, too much, too much, too much of a problem.
“Don’t dull your shine. Make it brighter, make it brighter baby. Live the vida, do it bigger baby. Own your thing, just keep handling your business; you’re the CEO, baby, you’re the boss.”
At this point in the song, the feeling has changed about three times within a long time span. It’s like Bohemian Rhapsody; if Bohemian Rhapsody was made to support some overpriced eyeliner. Again, Tyra is doing her quasi-inspirational babble, but it just seems weird juxtaposed to a picture of Don straddling a horse. He must have read the Shakespeare script!
“Tell ‘em how to spell beauty. B-O-O-T-Y. Tell ‘em how to spell beauty. B-O-O-T-Y. Tell ‘em how to spell beauty. B-O-O-T-Y. Juicy juicy beauty, B-O-O-T-Y.”
And who said ANTM wasn’t educational? Go find Brittany Furlon and make that into a Vine, girl. With this entire song spelled out, the models get to wrap up when Tyra surprises them with a panel right then and there.
PANEL
The judges’ main concern with Mamé is that she lacked “fierceness” and needed to let go in order to truly understand the brand. Mikey, on the other hand, was able to perfectly mix rock star and model.
Tyra raved about Devin and his ability to “hold onto a moment.” Likewise, Nyle was praised for not missing a beat throughout the song and having a “powerful presence.” Unfortunately, Hadassah didn’t have the same amount of vigor and got a similar critique to Mamé; needing to shed her controlled pageant skin.
Kelly felt there was a doubt in Dustin’s performance. Because he didn’t have confidence in himself, the entire video was flat. Miss Jay thought that Lacey was “overwhelmed” by the costumes, but her acting portions were very strong.
Now that the judges have seen all of the photos, the call-out begins.
MIKEY (35.5)
DEVIN (34.6)
LACEY (34.3)
MAME (34)
NYLE (33.7)
“By a score of 32.8 to 30.5, the model who remains is…”
HADASSAH
And for the second time, Dustin is eliminated by the hand of Hadassah. Because he didn’t take the competition seriously, we shouldn’t take his claim we “will see him again” seriously either…
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