ANTM Cycle 22 Episode 9: "Go See About Me"

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the models were paired up to teach girls about science with six-second PSAs. When Hadassah won the challenge, Bello had some sour grape(Vines). Afterward, they took on a Life-Size inspired photoshoot where everyone became a doll. While Lacey got the best marks, Courtney reached her shelf life and was eliminated. But in a surprise double elimination, Bello also said goodbye to his porcelain dreams. Now, only 7 models remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

The models return to see Lacey’s photo on the wall. She runs up the stairs to see her new room. With her third week in the Suite, it seems that Tyra is running out of tips for Lacey. With advice like ‘people won’t think you’re sexy if you pose sexy’ and ‘ignore the haters, they’re just jealous’, Tyra’s videos are beginning to look like therapy sessions now. Stop it Tyra, you’re literally projecting yourself.








While Tyra is getting herself some web therapy, the other models think about their next challenge. Devin wants to work on the go-sees to finally show his potential. “This year has been rough,” he confides. “I moved to L.A., I’ve been through a breakup.” If Devin’s lovelife is anything like his modelling; he still committed to at least five other guys.

The next day, the universe decides to honor Devin’s prayers because it is indeed a go-see challenge. Kelly Cutrone warns them that NEXT Model Management despises late models and coming in after the deadline will mean a disqualification (which they can always protest...)

Before letting them loose, Kelly announces the twist. Each model will be paired with an eliminated model and in the end of the week, they will replace someone. Confused? Luckily, Bello is here to explain it in true American Horror Story fashion.



Because she got best picture last week, Lacey gets to choose her partner. Since he’s an atheist, Stefano makes his presence known right away. His perseverance eventually gets the better of Lacey and she chooses Stefano.

Justin and Dustin come together and Mamé hooks up with Courtney. Nyle chooses Delanie and Mikey reunites with Ashley. Hadassah is left with the decision of either Bello or Ava. She could make the choice to repair her friendship or completely destroy it in one fell swoop.

“I choose Ava!”

Oh. Bello can’t believe that:

1) he was not chosen by his best friend in the competition,
2) he’s stuck with Devin for this challenge, and
3) it’s not butter. 

With that, the models are off! Everyone grabs a cab and heads off to their destinations. While some models try to make the best of their situation, Bello and Devin pout the entire ride.

They look like a still from any summer movie about a disgruntled family vacation. Just replace the brooding teens with two sexually frustrated homosexuals and you’ve got a blockbuster. Make it happen, CW!


Are We There Cher Yet?

Justin and Dustin are lost in the city and start to worry, but then remember Kelly’s wise words to use their Oppo phone. I don’t know if she meant to text and drive or accidentally use GPS and end up in a crack den; but I wouldn’t recommend any combination of cell phones + cars.

Meanwhile, Hadassah and Ava have arrived at Koco Blaq and model their swimwear. They comment that Hadassah has the perfect body for bathing suits but Ava needs to work on her runway. In addition, they make a jab at her being too short for the catwalk.

Likewise, Mamé and Courtney are praised for their looks when modelling for Koco Blaq. They say that Mamé probably has the best presence they’ve seen in the entire group and laud her as a perfect spokesmodel. Mamé returns the sentiment and admits that she’d love to be in a swimwear campaign. I guess the old saying is true...


Once You Go Koco Blaq…

Mikey and Ashley get to a formal wear agency and, in the middle of their walk, Justin and Dustin walk in. Instead of just waiting their turn, they barge in and strut for the designers. They aren’t given the time of day because they “weren’t wearing suits” and I concur. It was really rude of them to interrupt Mikey. Did they learn nothing from Bello?

Lacey and Stefano are satisfied with their go-sees and decide to head back. They are so desperate for the win, the two start to beg their respective deities. Lacey starts praying to God, Stefano ponders aimlessly: but their hope is the same; everyone else will be late getting back to NEXT.

Apparently, the call for chaos works because Nyle & Delanie run into problems. After finishing their time at Koco Blaq, Delanie forgets her bag. Then after leaving the cab, she forgets her portfolio. I would be upset at Delanie, but I often forget her too: so it seems like an even trade-off.

For their last go-see, Justin and Dustin walk for a ‘quirky’ designer. He tells them to showcase their radiant personalities on the runway and the boys simply make peace signs at the end of the catwalk. The designer calls them “energetic” and fitting to the brand…



Oh, that explains it.

With only a few minutes left, all of the teams decide to return to NEXT. Bello and Devin are stuck in traffic and they decide to make a run for it. Mamé and Courtney are also in a dangerous position, having gotten to all 4 go-sees but being too far to make it on time.

In the end, Mamé and Courtney are disqualified for being tardy. Kelly announces that Mikey, Nyle, Hadassah, Justin, and Dustin all booked 3 of the shows that they walked for. Because she was late, Mamé gave up her win (having booked all 4). So, the de facto winner is...HADASSAH.

Like a true pageant girl, runner-up Hadassah was happy to snatch Mamé’s victory from her. 

Back in the house, Bello is upset that Hadassah “ruined their friendship.” I guess Bello really was here to make friends, because his impassioned speech reeks of betrayal. He wishes her a “good life” and swears to never speak to Hadassah again.

With all of that out of the way, the models are taken to their photoshoot. Yu Tsai surprises them with the news that they’ll be sharing the spotlight this week:



When you think about it, a photoshoot with dogs is kind of fitting for this week. Just like canines, the models are desperately trying to claim their territory in this competition. Luckily, they don’t do so by peeing (at least, not without a diaper…)

Yu Tsai promises that each dog has been matched to fit their owner’s personality. If we’re judging by that criteria, there are going to be some interesting hounds:

• Hadassah and Mamé’s dog wins best-in-show every year.
• Mikey’s dog just came back from getting neutered.
• Devin’s dog is signed to 6 different walkers.
• Bello’s dog is not at the park to make friends.

All of the models do fairly well, so let’s just skip the dog days and go directly to panel. We can’t waste a lot of time, models get older even faster in dog years.

Panel


The judges feel the relationship in Hadassah’s picture. Kelly describes it as Parisian and posh. Devin, on the other hand, is over-the-top in his depiction of a classy figure. He suffers the same problem as Mikey: neither of them have versatility in their looks. In fact, Miss Jay says that Mikey’s face is the exact same in every photo thus far.


Tyra likes Lacey’s face and Kelly concurs, calling it a ‘fierce’ photo. With Mamé, however, the judges are more split. Miss Jay loves the intensity of her pose but Kelly thinks there isn’t enough of a fashion element. Tyra laments the pose, pointing out that it makes Mamé look shorter.
The problem with Justin’s photo, Tyra explains, is that there’s a disconnect between his face and the rest of his body. This is the complete opposite of Nyle, who has a sexy “primordial wolf energy” throughout the photo. Kelly calls it fit for an ad campaign and the others agree.


Tyra loves the intensity of Bello’s eyes, and Kelly mentions that his energy matches the dog. Likewise, the judges fawn over Dustin; calling it strong and connected. Miss Jay doesn’t like the lack of energy in Ashley’s face, and the women agree; calling it a bit dead in the eyes.

Kelly calls Courtney a “bad ass Lolita” and the others agree. Her personality shines through in this picture. Delanie’s pose is “nice” and demure enough for the brief.

Even though Ava is very “on point with that type of woman”, Tyra fears that her picture isn’t enough to overcome her go-see blunder. Stefano, on the other hand, is elegant and powerful, similar to his presence during the challenge.

Now that the judges have seen all the photos, the comeback begins. With the smallest combined total, the models not returning to the competition are:

ASHLEY (27.1)

DELANIE (30.5)

BELLO (30.6)

COURTNEY (32.5)

AVA (34)

And with a score of 35.1 to 35.0, the returning model is…

DUSTIN

Now, who will Dustin be replacing in the competition? The model with the best score is…
NYLE (39)

HADASSAH (36.6)

LACEY (36.4)

MAME (32.9)

MIKEY (32.2)

“Will Devin and Justin please step forward? Only one of you will stay in this competition and join us in...LAS VEGAS!”

Now, normally, this would be the time where Tyra removes her tearaway to reveal a showgirl costume and cackles as she announces, “I only have one plane ticket in my hands…” But this is a new age where ANTM’s budget has plummeted faster than its relevancy.

So, Tyra decides to announce the international transnational destination by throwing up a casino montage and shower the models with dollar bills. Now, we know good and goddamn well Marvin’s father spent the next two hours picking it right back up; but let’s not break the illusion: make it rain Tyra!


Instead of eliminating them right there and then, Tyra decides to wait until the next episode to get rid of either Justin or Devin. I wouldn’t be surprised if she drove them to a casino and keeps whoever can afford a plane ticket.

Next week, we’ll find out which guy joins everyone else in the desert. Then, the final seven will explore Vegas for a music video shoot. Who will strike big in Vegas? Until next time!