When they return to the House, the remaining models revel in the fact that this is the Final Five. Mamé is happy to have gotten first-call-out for the first time and enjoys the splendors of the Tyra Suite. She gets a TyTyTip to really “take command” of her life. Hope Justin’s into domineering women, no more Ms. Nice Diplomat’s Daughter!
Before Mamé can rest on her laurels, Kelly Cutrone announces a new challenge. Tyra wants the models to become ‘fierce entrepreneurs’ and create a marketable product: like a Harvard degree printer or an algorithm to write fake Twitter praise.
I enjoy this challenge for a multitude of reasons. For one, we only have a limited amount of Top Model left; so we need Tyra to include new words to the English lexicon before it’s too late. I’m not sure if this latest addition is spelled fierce-e-preneur or fierce-a-preneur; maybe one of the models can invest their seed money to create a dictionary. Just like Modelland, it’ll be 576 pages long, full of incoherent babble, and sell nearly as well.
But what really makes this memorable is how Tyra explains it. In not so many words, she admits that modelling is a fleeting career and models have to know what to do next. Thus, the word fierce-a-preneur was born. Frankly, fierce-a-Walgreen’s-clerk is a more realistic post-Top Model career, but let’s just entertain Tyra’s little fantasy.
She challenges each model to incorporate their ‘brand’ into the product. With that criteria; I wish they had done this task earlier. We missed out on some great potential here, Miss Banks!
You may be forgettable, but your gifts sure aren’t! Forget Me Nots by Delanie makes sure that your efforts won't go unnoticed. A bouquet of delivered flowers is perfect for any occasion: weddings, parties, anything people forgot to invite you to!
Just like God, this product doesn’t exist.
Have you ever wanted a second chance to try something over (and get the same result?) Getting rejected by an extra wasn’t enough, do it again! Known side-effects include teenage fangirls and loss of smiling capabilities.
Forget what you learned in Sunday School, Ava’s here to teach you about The Holy Trinity. Get a life-time supply ofVogue, Harper’s Bazaar, and Elle and save your soul (the hassle of subscribing…) Be sure to read the Holy Scripture with Ava today!
Whether it’s a crush or your neglectful father that left you with a nanny, Hadassah’s Binoculars can help you stare atanyone from a distance!
Unfortunately for us, the remaining models aren’t nearly as opportunistic and create pretty uninspired products. After Kelly announced that the winner gets $2500 as seed money, I can understand the lack of enthusiasm. Call me spoiled, but I won’t wake up for less than $10,000.
Nonetheless, each model goes up to present their products with vigor. Mikey introduces his trademarked Tocks. He explains that it’s a combination of “tank tops and socks.” When I heard the original pitch; I thought Mikey was making cock socks, so I’m severely disappointed here.
Mikey gets emotional and admits that he wants to make “affordable fashion” for guys with rough childhoods like his. With that, he announces the prices: $8 for socks and $20 for a tank…
Excuse me? Did Mikey get advice from his brothers? Cozy outerwear may be a hot commodity in the prison yard, but I doubt regular people will spend all that money on such common garments.
He gloats that he was inspired by the stories he heard back at the Zappos headquarters. Mikey claims he read the CEO’s book front to back before coming up with the Tocks concept. The only way this book inspired Mikey’s absurd product pricing was if he ripped out the pages and rolled them into marijuana blunts before crunching numbers.
Lacey is next up with her concept. She wants to market her experiences as a 18-year-old virgin in the cutthroat fashion industry.
Check out that name! As much as I raged on Tocks, at least it rolls off the tongue. For someone who hasn’t had a boyfriend, Lacey sure is a size queen…
Still, the marketing directors enjoy her energy. They say that Lacey’s narrative is relatable but it ultimately fails because her book doesn’t sound too interesting.
Likewise, Mamé’s Goddess Tribe has a nice message of female empowerment but the judges are lost on the commercial appeal. She promises that jewelry will be the central theme, but they still mark her down as being frazzled.
Devin is confident in his fragrance collection Emotions. Hopefully the success Careys over from his initial inspiration:
Devin comes with six scents; presumably dedicated to each of his agencies. Paris smells like urine, New York resembles garbage, LA’s distinctive odor is Coppertone, Japan and Italy share the aroma of wine, and New Jersey reeks of regret…
Even though Devin’s strategy was solid, the judges thought that Emotions wasn’t a fitting name. They just don’t have the same mind as Devin; he has an eye for branding; two eyes in fact! Still, Tyra wishes he had used a word more encapsulating of Devin’s overall personality. Quirky? Flamboyance? The Male Gayze?
Last up is Nyle. He decides on an ASL app called Sign That. He explains that the hearing community can learn little phrases and words in sign language through his video cues. Despite the great pitch, one of the judges calls it “too difficult” and deems it a pipe dream. Huh, guess an ASL appfeaturing Nyle really is something that’s unmarketable…
With that, Tyra announces that...how do I say this...there were ideas…
And the winner is...MIKEY’S
However, Mikey can’t celebrate for too long because the models are immediately whisked away to their next photoshoot. Yu Tsai meets them at a forlorn cabin in the woods.
He tries to get them amped about the “midnight monsters” photoshoot by telling them a lame ghost story. We all know the scariest thing about Yu Tsai is his photography, but let’s just play along.
Ahhhh, how scary…
In addition to shooting in the haunted woods, Yu Tsai plays on the “fear to fashion” prompt even more by announcing that this photoshoot will be completely in the dark. Tyra actually broke the budget taking us to Vegas, so the truth is we can’t afford things like lights and makeup anymore.
All in all, the photoshoot is pretty lackluster. The shoot is very time constrained and doesn’t allow for much movement. Mikey says he prefers to “do it in the dark”, but as long as he gets to “do it”, I don’t think Mikey really cares about the lighting situation.
Devin tried to tone down his theatrics on set and Nyle had difficulties, not being able to see or hear. Lacey thinks she did well; but she’s usually in the dark in regards to her modelling anyway...
After the shoot, Mikey and Mamé take it upon themselves to conserve heat.
Mamé explains repeatedly that this is strictly for the night and Mikey consents. In fact, he evens goes as far as to say that Mamé means nothing and he just wants a warm body to sleep next to. AND THEY SAY ROMANCE IS DEAD.
The other models don’t take his words for face value though. Lacey thinks that he’s up to his old habits again and Devin is still mourning the former DMA love. While the two cuddle, Devin just sits in the corner and looks on with a warm drink in hand. Poor Devin is so alone; six agencies yet no one to cuddle with…
And with that, they get up and take a drive back to the Top Model house. While they’re on the bus, the models get a message about the impending elimination.
Panel
Miss Jay likens the image to a “flamenco dancer” and Kelly agrees, calling Lacey’spose a little too dramatic. Likewise, all of the judges are blown away by Mamé’s ability to pose. Tyra admits that this was a test shot but Maméis becoming such a good model that she’s “always on”.
Kelly calls Nyle a vampire and I’m inclined to agree. The cape swish looks more Dracula than anything, and the energy is pretty dead.
When they talk about Mikey’s images, however, it’s a whole nother thing. He has “good energy” and straddles the line between model and mystery. Devin’s photo stirs up some debate between the judges. Tyra loves the relaxed nature of his face but Kelly is not impressed.
Now that the judges have reviewed all the photos, the scoring will be totaled. The model with the best photo is…
Miss Jay likens the image to a “flamenco dancer” and Kelly agrees, calling Lacey’spose a little too dramatic. Likewise, all of the judges are blown away by Mamé’s ability to pose. Tyra admits that this was a test shot but Maméis becoming such a good model that she’s “always on”.
Kelly calls Nyle a vampire and I’m inclined to agree. The cape swish looks more Dracula than anything, and the energy is pretty dead.
When they talk about Mikey’s images, however, it’s a whole nother thing. He has “good energy” and straddles the line between model and mystery. Devin’s photo stirs up some debate between the judges. Tyra loves the relaxed nature of his face but Kelly is not impressed.
Now that the judges have reviewed all the photos, the scoring will be totaled. The model with the best photo is…
MIKEY (37.5)
MAME (34)
LACEY (33.9)
“And with a score of 33 to 29.1, the model who stays is…”
NYLE
While Devin is disappointed to be leaving this close to the end, he is happy to have had the experience to learn.
And then there were four! Next week, the models take on the cover of Nylon Magazine. Lacey struggles to find the line between sexy and sleazy; and there’s ugly clothing galore. You don’t want to miss it! Until next week...
Little Bo Peep Show
No comments:
Post a Comment