BINTM c8 episode 9: Valley of the Dolls

Previously on Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model, the girls were challenged to walk on water. Some girls were more adrift than others, but in the end, Lisa impressed Jesus the most. During a nude shoot at a laundry, the girls were accompanied by three male models. While Emma and Anita appreciated theménage a trios, Madeleine was a dud with the suds. But unfortunately, it was Jennifer who was all washed up. Only seven girls remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Back in the house, Madeleine is still “fighting for it”, even though the competition is getting “harder and tougher.” Before they can relax in the house, the girls receive an…

E-Mail! “Do you think you’re news-worthy models? Find out tomorrow. Love, Elle.”

The girls are excited to become spokeswomen but Letitia is nervous about any impending speaking challenges. But Anita is not falling for her ruse; promising to not give any “sympathy” to Lispticia.

Radio Gag Gag

The girls are met by Gordon Smart, the sexy showbiz editor of The Sun (he can have my sons anyday.)He warns them that being a successful model isn't just about being a pretty face. Obviously, getting personality from these girls is as futile as Tyson Beckford’s career but he’s confident that they’ll showcase some “dirt” on their competition.

He prompts them to write a piece that will be broadcast around the UK and basically, the most literate girl will win! If Mean Girls is any indication of British education, then we’re in for a treat.

How Do You Spell ‘Orange’?

During their writing hour, the girls are inspired to not write “nice things”. Emma wants to be “personable” and Risikat wants her piece to be “funny” (the grammatical inconsistencies will be more than enough!)

One by one, the girls are allowed to watch the broadcasts. Roxanne calls Letitia “immature” and ironically enough, criticizes her for not “taking criticism well”. She called Emma “bland” and Madeleine a “clever” girl.

When she returned to the room, she was “shocked” by the others’ reactions. She apologizes for being harsh with Letitia and tries to pacify the teary-eyed girl. Anita was thankful to get out of that “awkward’ room and deliver her broadcast.

Lisa and Anita were “too safe” in their delivery and Emma was “too bland”.

During her ‘Top Model in One Minute’ report, Risikat announces there’s a thief in the house with “chunky thighs.” But let’s not take away her thunder.

Madeleine felt “confidence” with her “suave” performance. Gordon, however, is not as impressed. But I disagree. I think she has a great face…for radio.

Voice of a Siren

After Madeleine calls her a “crybaby”, Letitia starts to get angry. Anita tells her that the industry will “eat her up” for being weak but Letitia replies that she is not a crybaby; said with tears in her eyes.

After she dries her lids, Letitia goes up and delivers a “nice” monologue. Then, Gordon gathers the girls and announces that the winner is…

RISIKAT! She will be allowed to “spend time” with Elle. Just like the amount of tears Letitia has left, BINTM’s budget seems to be waning…

The next day, the girls attempt to make their rat-infested condo look “presentable”. After a hour of getting dolled up, Risikat is ready for her ̶d̶a̶t̶e̶ lunch with Elle.

During their luncheon on the grass, Risikat is starstruck by Elle. She stutters, sweats profusely, and shifts awkwardly during their discussion. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that Risikat was bewitched by the presence of this supermodel.

Under Her Spelle

After some more lesbian prodding by Elle, Risikat has been brainwashed into “wanting women to look at her”. In an attempt to impress her heiness, Risikat decides to walk for Elle. With the rhythmic swaying of her hips, Elle has been officially seduced by Risikat. She’s tired of boys and moving onto men!

After leaning in for the kiss, Elle is in a good mood. She decides to give the girls an Australian barbeque(she likes a little meat on her ‘Kats).

After the relaxing meal, the girls receive an E-Mail.

“It’s time to dive back into the toy box for your next photoshoot. Love, Elle.”

Sprawl House

The next day, the girls arrive at the photoshoot where they are met by Nicky Johnston. This terrifying Voldemort look-alike announces that the theme is “broken dolls”. Considering how he might break some souls during the shoot, it only seems fitting.

Madeleine had loads of personality during the shoot and got the seal of Nicky’s approval. Unlike the other girls, she had “confidence” despite her hideous horror-movie styling.

Pride of Chucky

Initially, Anita was “really nervous” and wanted to impress Nicky. By the end though, she was “brilliant” and made some great faces. Lisa, on the other hand, struggled with being “too pretty”. She had “anxiety” with being sweet and Nicky had to coax personality from her.

Roxanne “didn’t work” for Nicky. Even when he gave her direction, she didn’t have the right look. With a “face liked a slap ass” and “no personality”, Nicki grew increasingly frustrated with her.

Backstage, Risikat got “into the role” of her character. She got “really freaky” during the shoot and got a really strong photo. Emma also made some “lovely shapes” in the photos.

Letitia looked “great” during the shoot and had the “best movement”, despite her terrible clothes. Seriously, that outfit made her look like Barbie’s obese cousin.

I’m a Carbie Girl

But she still managed to impress. After the shoot, the girls receive an E-Mail.

“Tomorrow you will meet with the judges. Only six of you will continue on in the hopes of becomingBritain & Ireland’s Next Top Model.”

PANEL

“First, we have American model and actor, Tyson Beckford, accompanied by fashion designer and icon, Whitney Port. Then, we have international designer Julian McDonald. And to round off the group, we have supermodel and head judge, Elle McPherson. Joining the panel we have famous Prada and Armani supermodel, Eron O’ Conner. ”

“The winner of Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model will live in a London suite, vacation to Dubai, have a contract with Models1, have a six-page spread and cover of Company Magazine, lead a Revlon campaign, and have a contract with Ms Selfridge.”



Risikat: Erin likes the “character” but wants Risikat to “watch her body”. Whitney agrees, and notes that the “energy” is there.



Emma: Ella thinks that she’s a “ballerina”. Julian doesn't think that she’s fulfilling the brief but still looks pretty.



Anita: Tyson doesn't believe she fulfilled the brief but still managed to get a good shot. Erin likes Anita both in person and in her photograph.



Roxanne: Unfortunately, Julian calls it her “weakest picture”. Elle calls it “limp” but Whitney sees the “potential” in her.



Letitia: Tyson and Whitney like the “possessed” face, saying that it fits the brief.



Madeleine: Julian thinks that she’s lost her “fireworks”. Erin doesn’t like the “overdone” expression and calls her “frightening”.



Lisa: Despite being nervous, the judges love it. Erin loves the “composition” but Julian isn’t a fan of the “crumpled look.”

“Now the judges and I will deliberate and decide who will be leaving the competition.”

Tyson sees “confidence” in Risikat’s photo. Julian calls her a supermodel and Elle relays that she was a delight to work with. Whitney doesn’t like Emma’s picture but the judges see potential.

Erin loves Anita’s “mysterious interpretation” but sees Letitia as “uncomfortable.” Julian is “fed up” with Roxanne’s excuses and Elle applauds Madeleine’s risks. The judges are in agreement that Lisa needs to learn to overcome her setbacks.

“I have 7 beautiful girls before me, but only 6 photos in my hands. And these six photos represent the girls that are still in the running toward becoming Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model. The first name I call has received picture of the week…”

RISIKAT

ANITA
EMMA
LETITIA
LISA

“Will Roxanne and Madeleine please step forward? I only have one photo in my hands, and this photo represents the girl who is still in the running toward becoming Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model. The girl who we think can still win this competition is…”

ROXANNE

Madeleine is “happy” for the experience and is ready to take the fashion world by storm.

Next week, the girls will take on two photoshoots as the competition intensifies. Relationships are strained as spiders are thrown into the mix. It’ll be a good one!

Who do you think should have gotten best picture? Who do you think should have been in the bottom two? Do you agree with the elimination? Who would have you eliminated? Any early faves? What was your favorite part(s) of the recap? Leave any and all comments below and I’ll see you next week!