After his victorious first-call-out, Marvin gloats in his Tyra Suite that the girls don’t “work it like him”. Accompanied by his roommate Don, the duo pick out outfits from the Guess closet. Afterwards, Don and ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶r̶s̶t̶y̶ ̶A̶f̶r̶i̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶ Marvin go on the prowl for ladies; much like hunters at a safari. Luckily, Marvin immediately spots some prey on his expedition:
His favorite kind! Preferring his women conscious, Phil decides to hang with Jiana. He thinks that the lack of privacy in the house and heightened sex drives are starting to take their toll.
Victoria’s Secretions
The next day, the models are met by Tyra and Rob. After many questions about their “relationship”(Friends? Dating? Sugar daddy and child?) Tyra decides to come clean.
“We’ve never kissed. We’ve never touched,” Tyra cries longingly; with tears of regret in her eyes. She, alongside Rob, will teach the models about chemistry. Tyra’s three tips on Chemistry (that would probably get her banned from any high school science class) are:
Fresh Breath (Sulfer is not attractive)
Tension (Like the seconds before a Large Hadron Collider explosion)
Inhale (Yes, inhale the toxic fumes, children!)
Tension (Like the seconds before a Large Hadron Collider explosion)
Inhale (Yes, inhale the toxic fumes, children!)
After a lesson from the Harvard graduate, the models are told to put these tips to the test. They will be posing in a 50 Shades of Grey shoot with Alassandra Ambrosio, a famous Victoria’s Secret model. Like all of us, the models look on with envy at Alassandra; who truly embodies a never-aging protagonist of the erotic novel.
Fifty Shades of Dorian Grey
“But that’s only the tip (of the iceberg),” Tyra cockteases. In addition to Alassandra, the models will share the spotlight with Rob Evans. After meeting their photographer (Sarah Silver), the models are randomly paired up.
Chlea and Marvin pair up with Alassandra. Even though Marvin’s “angular” features impress Sarah, the photographer feels that he is overpowering Chlea in this shoot. On the flipside, Mike and Kanani manage to hold their own against the supermodel. Even though they were “playing it safe” initially, the duo uses their chemistry tips to get the photo.
Phil, Jeremy, and Alassandra re-enact what I can only imagine is considered foreplay in the Snoop Dogg household. Keeping with the animal instinct of the shoot, Alex pounces on Rob faster than a cat in heat.
Fifty Shades of Spay
Unfortunately, her enthusiasm with Rob left Don with a lack of energy on set. Conversely, Renee and Jourdan brought tons of vigor during their shoot with Rob, allowing them a variety of poses and body positions. Cory, threatened by the masculinity of the shoot, gave his best during his shoot with Rob. Fortunately, his attraction for elves made posing with Nina a breeze.
After the photoshoot concludes, the models receive a Tyra Mail:
“You’ll have to be a cut above, if you want any love.”
While all of the other models freak out at the prospect of makeovers, Marvin daydreams of home after hearing the word ‘cut’.
Dye-Hard
The models are met at the Christophe Salon by Tyra and Rob, who announce makeovers. Deciding to shy away from the obvious Allison Harvard look, Nina receives a blood-red dye job. While Chris H. embraces the icy Jack Frost look, Don also gets a new “fresh” color; looking like a Chris Brown double platinum by the end.
In addition to new cuts, the guys receive a lesson in manscaping. Chris receives all kinds of surprises While Cory is determined to painfully remove all the hair from his body, Chris is hesitant to shed his blonde fur until he’s found some wax that’s just right for him.
Goldilocks and the Three Nairs
While Marvin and Jeremy get minimal changes, Cory receives the most drastic makeover of all. Inspired by his “unique look”, Tyra decides to scalp him. Never one to fret from a challenge, Cory accepts his look and like a true bald eagle; rises above it all.
Kanani and Jiana both enjoy some cuts, sporting a pixie and long bob respectively. While getting her extensions, Chlea and Kelly decide to make up, casting aside their differences in the spirit of turning a new leaf.
Saving the best for last, the stylists get to work on Phil. Working with his features; Tyra decides that he’s best suited for the Messiah chic look.
After a strenuous couple of hours with the weave; the heavens part, angels sing rejoices of Hallelujah, and atheists weep at his feet; their faith in God rePhiled. With his transformation complete, Phil’s holy poses range from a deity to that scene from Titanic.
Saint Me Like One of Your French Girls
With all of the makeovers (and religious conversions) done, the models return to the House where they are greeted by a Skull Mail.
“We have 14 models, but there is only room for Jesus and 12 disciples.” With the elimination looming, the models eat their Last Supper.
Panel
"You all know our judges. First, we have PR maven, Kelly Cutrone. Next, we have sexy British male model, Rob Evans. We also have our social media correspondent, Bryanboy."
“You know our prizes. The winner of America’s Next Top Model will receive a fashion feature in Nylon Magazine, be offered a contract with Next Models, and receive a $100,000 campaign with Guess.”
Jourdan: Tyra feels that she's missing intensity and with Kelly, gives her an 8. The fans are "disappointed" but Rob disagrees, deeming her photo a 9.
Renee: Rob sticks up for her performance on set with his 9. Tyra and Kelly, however, are unimpressed with the final product, and award her 7s.
Chlea: Kelly thinks that she has a "beautiful body" but disconnects in the photo. She's given a triad of 6s.
Marvin: Rob comments that the duo look like they've photobombed Alassandra and with Kelly, deems it a 6. Tyra, however, appreciates the booch, and gifts it a 9.
Jiana: Kelly gives her a 7 for not taking control of the situation. Tyra disagrees, enthralled by the symmetry of her face and grants her a 9 alongside Rob.
Chris: Kelly calls him Lurch and deems it a 7. Rob feels like there is a lack of chemistry and gives a 6. Tyra gifts him an 8.
Phil: Kelly feels like it's not "submissive" enough and gives it a 5. Tyra and Rob pays respect to their Saviour with a 7 and 6.
Jeremy: All three judges wanted a stronger primal pose and agree on 6s.
Don: Kelly feels like he looks more like a mugger than lover and deems it a 5 alongside Tyra. Rob chimes in with a 6.
Alexandra: With her dead eyes in debate, the judges are scattered in their scores, with a 6, 8, and 7.
Mike: Tyra loves how he's not overshadowed by Alassandra and grants him a 10. Rob and Kelly are given hope in his potential, giving out an 8 and 9.
Kanani: Seductive but short seems to be the mutual concensus. While Tyra opted for a 7, the others granted Kanani 8s.
Nina: Kelly and Tyra love the quirky sexiness she exudes, and dole out some 8s. Rob opts for a 6.
Cory: Kelly calls his hair "dated" and grants him a 7. Rob and Tyra scatter with their scores of 6 and 8.
“Now the judges and I will add your scores and when you return, I will announce which one of you will be eliminated.”
“Sixteen beautiful models stand before me. But I only have 13 photos in my hands. And these fourteen photos represent the fourteen of you who are still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model. The model with the best score and therefore, best photo is…”
MIKE (34.5)
JIANA (33.8)
JOURDAN (32.8)
NINA (30.6)
CHRIS (29.8)
CORY (28.8)
ALEXANDRA (28.8)
KANANI (28.8)
RENEE (28.7)
MARVIN (27.8)
PHIL (24.7)
JEREMY (24.6)
"Will Chlea and Don please step forward? I only have one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the model that is still in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model. With a score of 22.6 to 22.2, that model is..."
DONNext week, tempers flare in the Top Model House. And in a runway show with a revolving platform, the tables are turned. So, until next time...
Turn Around Bright Smize
Panel
"You all know our judges. First, we have PR maven, Kelly Cutrone. Next, we have sexy British male model, Rob Evans. We also have our social media correspondent, Bryanboy."
“You know our prizes. The winner of America’s Next Top Model will receive a fashion feature in Nylon Magazine, be offered a contract with Next Models, and receive a $100,000 campaign with Guess.”
Jourdan: Tyra feels that she's missing intensity and with Kelly, gives her an 8. The fans are "disappointed" but Rob disagrees, deeming her photo a 9.
Renee: Rob sticks up for her performance on set with his 9. Tyra and Kelly, however, are unimpressed with the final product, and award her 7s.
Chlea: Kelly thinks that she has a "beautiful body" but disconnects in the photo. She's given a triad of 6s.
Marvin: Rob comments that the duo look like they've photobombed Alassandra and with Kelly, deems it a 6. Tyra, however, appreciates the booch, and gifts it a 9.
Jiana: Kelly gives her a 7 for not taking control of the situation. Tyra disagrees, enthralled by the symmetry of her face and grants her a 9 alongside Rob.
Chris: Kelly calls him Lurch and deems it a 7. Rob feels like there is a lack of chemistry and gives a 6. Tyra gifts him an 8.
Phil: Kelly feels like it's not "submissive" enough and gives it a 5. Tyra and Rob pays respect to their Saviour with a 7 and 6.
Jeremy: All three judges wanted a stronger primal pose and agree on 6s.
Don: Kelly feels like he looks more like a mugger than lover and deems it a 5 alongside Tyra. Rob chimes in with a 6.
Alexandra: With her dead eyes in debate, the judges are scattered in their scores, with a 6, 8, and 7.
Mike: Tyra loves how he's not overshadowed by Alassandra and grants him a 10. Rob and Kelly are given hope in his potential, giving out an 8 and 9.
Kanani: Seductive but short seems to be the mutual concensus. While Tyra opted for a 7, the others granted Kanani 8s.
Nina: Kelly and Tyra love the quirky sexiness she exudes, and dole out some 8s. Rob opts for a 6.
Cory: Kelly calls his hair "dated" and grants him a 7. Rob and Tyra scatter with their scores of 6 and 8.
“Now the judges and I will add your scores and when you return, I will announce which one of you will be eliminated.”
“Sixteen beautiful models stand before me. But I only have 13 photos in my hands. And these fourteen photos represent the fourteen of you who are still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model. The model with the best score and therefore, best photo is…”
MIKE (34.5)
JIANA (33.8)
JOURDAN (32.8)
NINA (30.6)
CHRIS (29.8)
CORY (28.8)
ALEXANDRA (28.8)
KANANI (28.8)
RENEE (28.7)
MARVIN (27.8)
PHIL (24.7)
JEREMY (24.6)
"Will Chlea and Don please step forward? I only have one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the model that is still in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model. With a score of 22.6 to 22.2, that model is..."
DONNext week, tempers flare in the Top Model House. And in a runway show with a revolving platform, the tables are turned. So, until next time...
Turn Around Bright Smize
No comments:
Post a Comment