ANTM c20 episode 6 : "Looking Out For A Shero"

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the competition was turned upside down during the models’ first spinning runway. Then, they got trashy for a trailer park photoshoot. While Jourdan turned trash to treasure, Mike and Jeremy were taken to the dumpster. With Mike gone, only twelve models are left. Who will be eliminated tonight?

After getting best picture, Jourdan has decided to bring Nina to the Tyra Suite with her. Because she’s been rubbing the girls the wrong way (and not rubbing the men in any way), Jourdan has conjured many a hater.

̶J̶e̶s̶u̶s̶ Phil has a girlfriend back home, but every day, he’s been forgetting more and more of Mary Magdalene. Instead, he seems to have found a new follower. Judging by the amount of boners he’s been instantly popping at the sight of Jiana, we can say that, by the third day

Jesus Has Risen

While the duo prays or something, Jourdan receives word that the models will be given phone time. Alex is elated because the worries of having a cancer-ridden mother have been weighing her down. But unfortunately for the models, Jourdan “controls the phone privileges”. The monarch continues her monotoned soliloquy to announce that she has first picks. 

She starts to ramble to her boyfriend, and after her ten-minute limit, her phone sex overflows. Renee, unimpressed with the monotone moans, calls time on Jourdan’s call. Enraged, Jourdan deadpans “I have the Tyra Suite so I can take as much time as I want.” Unable to argue with the rage of a toneless automaton, Renee retreats to her bedroom for the night.

Live From the Dread Carpet

The next day, the models are greeted in Hollywood by Bryanboy and Perez Hilton (the third troll had scheduling issues and couldn’t join in). “We started off as bloggers, and became big personalities”, they lie.

The duo challenges the models to be “fashion correspondents” in the streets of Hollywood. They will be fed demands and be forced to comply with their words.

Jeremy is the first to witness the gross whims of the twosome. Perez orders him to conduct the interview shirtless, with Bryanboy nodding in the background. Jeremy follows suit. “And now the pants,” Perez salivates. When the boy obeys, Bryanboy looks on in marvel. Satisfied to find a man of equal perviness, Bryanboy and Perez stare in glee at the scantily clad youth.

To Match A Predator

With their minds already made up, the duo barely notices the other models. Phil also manages to comply with all of their demands, but unfortunately for him, Perez is an atheist.

Jiana attempts to ask all of the questions she’s fed, but comes off as robotic and unconnected. Marvin snatches up a guy and they immediately hit it off. Instead of asking the “boxers or briefs” and “cut or uncut” desperately emanating from Perez, Marvin goes for the ultimate inquiry: chaps, yes or no? His lips thirst for a positive reception to chapstick.

After the challenge, the trolls decide to criticize Marvin and Jiana for not asking their “provocative” questions; and instead commends Phil and Jeremy. “I’m not gonna satisfy you, Perez”, Marvin sobs, clutching his shirt tightly.

Nevertheless, Perez allows his hormones to crown Jeremy the challenge winner. “So Jeremy, you will have a very romantic date,” Perez pants (this is one Lindsay Lohan and a couple of tweets from being his wet dream…

Bryanboy, upset that Perez is upstaging him in both romance and blog views (a close 32 to 31 viewership), decides to add in the extra twist: Jeremy must take a girl. Upon hearing that he’s being replaced by Jourdan, Perez sulks away; leaving a trail of cigarette butts and Gaga albums in his wake.

While the other models rejoice in a Jourdan-less house, Jeremy is ecstatic to have some time alone with her. Unfortunately, he’s been forever friend-zoned and their “romantic date” is the equivalent of two girls discussing shoes, accessories, and their monthly struggles.

Lady & The Cramp

Now that their relationship is spicing up (they now eat chili together!), Jourdan and Jeremy are ready for the next day’s work.

The Sixth Scent

The models are met by Johnny Wujek in the early morning hours. He instructs them to get ready to swap genders for a fragrance commercial. The models will work in pairs for Questionable Body Spray in a video that features a kiss.

In case the models don’t understand how to embody their new gender, Johnny introduces Jeremy Rowley; who is an apparent Freudian expert. He will be guiding their movement and wardrobe on set.

The models get ready to swap roles and between the wigs, heels, and tight dresses, the men had a tough time looking the part. Even Phil looked like a hot mess(iah). Nevertheless, the guys embraced the over-the-top look and developed characters. In fact, Chris was very reminiscent of a better-chromosomed Aguilera.

XXTina

During their shoot, Chris excelled while Nina had difficulties being the rough man. The problem resurfaced when Phil and Jiana took to the street. Jiana didn’t fully understand the “preppy” concept and failed to match Phil’s energy.

Jeremy and Jourdan are given the goth couple and told to display “no emotion”. Jourdan is ecstatic at playing herself. By the end of the shoot however, Jeremy won the Kristen Stewart Award for his lack of feelings.

Don and Kanani both felt the comedy in their high-school couple theme. Likewise, Cory captured the essence of his drag persona on set. Unfortunately, Alexandra failed to connect as convincingly.

Starvin’ Marvin practiced before the shoot with Renee. When they got to set, Marvin decided to go the extra mile in the kissing scene. It’s almost as if Marvin was a frat boy possessed by the Holy Ghost of Thirst.

Greeking In Tongues

After the shoot, the models return to a Skull Mail. Nervous about the impending elimination, Marvin is “praying to the Lord” that his scores can suffice. Phil immediately gets to work crunching the numbers.

Panel

"You all know our judges. First, we have PR maven, Kelly Cutrone. Next, we have sexy British male model, Rob Evans. We also have our social media correspondent, Bryanboy."

“You know our prizes. The winner of America’s Next Top Model will receive a fashion feature in Nylon Magazine, be offered a contract with Next Models, and receive a $100,000 campaign with Guess.”



Nina: Tyra likes her “swag” and deems it a 9. The other judges find her unbelievable and settle on 6s.

Chris: Kelly likes that he never broke character, but isn’t convinced by his range, fostering a 7. Tyra graces him with a 10 and Rob gives an 8.



Kanani: Poppin’ seems to be the main consensus. For the first time, we have straight 10s from the judges.

Don: Rob says that he’s a beautiful woman and Tyra likes that he “went for it”. The triad gives out 9s.



Jeremy: Kelly and Rob feel that he’s not trying to connect, and dole out 7s. Tyra liked his cameltoe, so it’s an 8 from her.

Jourdan: Kelly states that this performance isn’t “goth” and hands out a 7. Tyra doesn’t appreciate her small town girl excuses and gives an 8. Rob (led by his penis) gifts Jourdan a 10.



Jiana: Tyra feels that she’s not trying and doles out a 6. The others feel more hopeful and award 8s.

Phil: Rob calls him a “touch of genius” and, with Tyra, gifts a 9. Kelly settles for an 8.



Cory: He “nailed it” as far as the ladies are concerned. The only break from 10s is Rob’s 8, which is a product of being “too feminine”/Rob’s insecurity.

Alexandra: Kelly likes it, and gives an 8. Rob and Tyra feel that there’s a lack of commitment, and dole out 6s.



Marvin: The cow tongues got him 8s from the ladies. Rob, the horrible kisser, docks him down to a 7 for upstaging him.

Renee: Tyra calls it “messy” and deems it a 6. The others prefer this type of comedy, and together grant Renee 8s.

“Thirteen beautiful models stand before me. But I only have 12 photos in my hands. And these twelve photos represent the twelve of you who are still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model. The model with the best score and therefore, best photo is…”

CORY (45.7)

KANANI (45.6)
DON (42.6)
PHIL (42.4)
JOURDAN (41.2)
CHRIS (40.3)
JEREMY (39.5)
RENEE (37.4)
NINA (36.9)
MARVIN (35.7)

"Will Jiana and Alexandra please step forward? I only have one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl that is still in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model. With a score of 35.5 to 34.7, that model is..."

ALEXANDRA

Next week, the contestants will be modeling for Emmerson, which is apparently an hourglass company. It’s called fashion guys. So until next week…


The Hands of Time